Greg Giraldo
Greg Giraldo
Gregory C. "Greg" Giraldowas an American stand-up comedian, television personality, and lawyer. He is remembered for his appearances on Comedy Central's televised roast specials, and for his work on that network's television shows Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn, Lewis Black's Root of All Evil, and the programming block Stand-Up Nation, the last of which he hosted...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth10 December 1965
CityBronx, NY
CountryUnited States of America
The things that make me laugh are considered smart or whatever, I guess. But stuff that's self-consciously intelligent or self-consciously hip or cool, that doesn't do it for me either. You just try to be funny.
There are more whipped guys on television than there were on the Amistad.
Joke stealing is a big deal to me, but I mean, I'm not going to investigate it if it doesn't effect me directly.
If you spend five minutes with me or watch me try to balance my checkbook, you can only imagine the disaster I would make of anyone's legal issues.
Do you know how short you have to be to have a Napoleon complex in North Korea?
Look at Thomas Jefferson. The guy had illegitimate kids in the 1700s, and they caught him last year. If you cheat on your wife and cover it up for 200 years, you're pretty much thinking you're home free.
The hardest part, for real, is probably when you just don't feel like going on stage and being funny.
The reality is I'm not a 'get knocked down and come back harder' kind of guy.
The reality is I'm not this person with this driving 'get it done' attitude.
Some people are just really goofy kind of guitar acts, and they go out and do these colleges and start making a fortune pretty early on. And other people - I know guys who are great comics, who've done the Letterman show many times, who still barely pay their bills.
The only reason we're not in Iran now is because we're going alphabetically and George Bush can't spell.
Edible underwear?... even during sex, we can't stop eating.
Even before the kids are born, you've go to make these decisions. If it's a boy, do we get him circumcised? If it's a girl, do we keep her?
Terrorism is obviously on everybody's mind. The other day my son says to me, 'Daddy, how come the bad men hate us?' How sad is that? I actually got tears in my eyes - because he's 18. What kind of a moron am I raising?