Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers
Joan Alexandra Molinsky, better known as Joan Rivers, was an American comedian, actress, writer, producer, and television host noted for her often controversial comedic persona—where she was alternately self-deprecating or sharply acerbic, especially toward celebrities and politicians...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth8 June 1933
CountryUnited States of America
happiness money funny-life
People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
yellow age i-can
I can't wear yellow anymore. It's too matchy-matchy with my catheter.
men years age
When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.
humor tunnels light
To the pessimist the light at the end of the tunnel is another train.
black back-when racist
I'm racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson's back when he was black.
men hands library
Women should look good. Work on yourselves. Education? I spit on education. No man is ever going to put his hand up your dress looking for a library card.
mother daughter sleep
Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.
funny baby witty
I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
wise mean thinking
Marriage isn't a contest to see who is most often right. Marriage requires being what the Japanese call 'the wise bamboo,' which means you bend so you don't break. Treat your spouse with the flexibility and respect you would give to a top client. Think how we treat clients; We smile, we are polite, we listen to their ideas. Never forget that your spouse is your most important client.
hilarious sailing pay
Money can't buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.
grieving get-better wish
I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better.
mom mother dating
I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, 'Marry him. You'll double your wardrobe.'
funeral comedian age
At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.
success inspiration memorable
I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.