Henny Youngman
Henny Youngman
Henry "Henny" Youngmanwas an American comedian and violinist famous for his mastery of the "one-liner". His best known one-liner was "Take my wife ... please"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth16 March 1906
CountryUnited States of America
funny-marriage done married
We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
wine littles dinner
The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner....
get-up
Let's get up here before we get killed!
communication thinking cop
Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
clothes doctors mad
The doctor says to the patient, "Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window". "What will that do" asks the patient. The doctor says "I'm mad at my neighbor!".
funny watches television
Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
sex humorous driving
If, as the scientist say, sex is such a driving force, why is so much of it nowadays found parked?
looks talent cemetery
You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.
children hate rain
Two kangaroos were talking to each other, and one said, 'I hope it doesn't rain today. I hate it when the children play inside.
funny awards wife
Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.
girl dancing ballet
On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
religion coward accounts
I don't fly on account of my religion. I'm a devout coward.
lakes water wife
I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There is water in the carburetor." I said, "Where's the car?" She said, "In the lake."
funny divorce humor
Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.