Henny Youngman
Henny Youngman
Henry "Henny" Youngmanwas an American comedian and violinist famous for his mastery of the "one-liner". His best known one-liner was "Take my wife ... please"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth16 March 1906
CountryUnited States of America
funny mother jobs
If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope.
christmas waiting wonderful
I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can't wait to exchange.
funny time humor
I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
sports mean giving
The hitter asks the owner to give him a big raise so he can go somewhere he's never been, and the owner says "You mean third base?"
horse past gambling
I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
education teaching school
In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
education teacher memories
My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
book reading fifty
I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.
wife my-wife please
Take my wife... Please!
funny mother baby
I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I was a bottle baby.
baby teenage two
A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.
funny family brother
My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.
teacher teaching funny-retirement
Old teachers never die, they just grade away.
funny couple humor
Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.