Henny Youngman
Henny Youngman
Henry "Henny" Youngmanwas an American comedian and violinist famous for his mastery of the "one-liner". His best known one-liner was "Take my wife ... please"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth16 March 1906
CountryUnited States of America
years alaska bishops
A priest is sent to Alaska. A bishop goes up to visit one year later. The bishop asks, How do you like it up here? The priest says, If it wasn't for my Rosary, and 2 martinis a day, I'd be lost. Bishop, would you like a martini? Yes. Rosary, get the bishop a martini!
girl night lasts
I went out with a girl last night. She wasn't a Lana Turner. She was more of a stomach turner.
funny horse humor
My horse's jockey was hitting the horse. The horse turns around and says "Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!"
funny horse humor
I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.
golf clubs broke
The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
killing shots made
I just made a killing in the stock market -- I shot my broker.
mother nice law
I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in.
funny horse humor
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
light wife dieting
My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
doctors cynical wallets
My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
beautiful wife political
My wife is the sweetest, most tolerant, most beautiful woman in the world. This is a paid political announcement.
funny family brother
My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.
funny new-york humor
Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to New York, send one to Los Angeles, and send one to Miami." She said, "We can't do that!" I told her, "You did it last week!"
funny humor sneezing
When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say....