Henny Youngman
Henny Youngman
Henry "Henny" Youngmanwas an American comedian and violinist famous for his mastery of the "one-liner". His best known one-liner was "Take my wife ... please"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth16 March 1906
CountryUnited States of America
new-year giving-up years
I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
years wife lasts
My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
god people stupidity
Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
god stupidity aim
We aim to please... You aim too, please.
moving way want
Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
brother jobs giving-up
My brother-in-law had to give up his last job because of illness. His boss became sick of him.
home men homeless
All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
inspirational thinking world
I think the world of you...and you know what condition the world is in today.
wife cards credit
My wife lost all her credit cards, but I'm not going to report it. Whoever found them spends less than she does!
food wife tree
My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but can she climb a tree.
needs saving tomorrow
I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
funny humor doctors
The Doctor says, "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?"
years alaska bishops
A priest is sent to Alaska. A bishop goes up to visit one year later. The bishop asks, How do you like it up here? The priest says, If it wasn't for my Rosary, and 2 martinis a day, I'd be lost. Bishop, would you like a martini? Yes. Rosary, get the bishop a martini!
girl night lasts
I went out with a girl last night. She wasn't a Lana Turner. She was more of a stomach turner.