Henny Youngman
Henny Youngman
Henry "Henny" Youngmanwas an American comedian and violinist famous for his mastery of the "one-liner". His best known one-liner was "Take my wife ... please"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth16 March 1906
CountryUnited States of America
men clothes yesterday
A guy says, I'm so old that I forgot how old I am. An old woman says, I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over. The man does this. The woman says, You're seventy four. The man says, How can you tell? The woman says, You told me yesterday.
funny humor men
Nurse: "Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office". Doctor: "Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in."
marriage letting-go hands
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
funny health doctors
When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.
funny humor wife
I said to my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?' She said, 'I want to go somewhere I've never been before.' I said, 'Try the kitchen.'
men married single-man
It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.
drinking beer drunk
A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started.
funny motivational witty
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
men next-day house
A man goes to a barbershop and asks, How many ahead of me? Five. The man leaves. He comes back the next day and asks, How many ahead of me? Four. The man leaves. He comes back the next day and asks, How many ahead of me? Six. The man leaves, and the barber says to another, Follow that man! The man comes back and says, He goes to your house!
funny marriage women
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.
funny crazy humor
A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, "You're crazy" The man says, "I want a second opinion!" "Okay, you're ugly too!"
funny-inspirational winning battle
When you battle with your conscience and lose, you win.
funny humor men
A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? "I was ironing, and the phone rang!" "What about the other ear?" "Had to call the doctor!"
funny humor sick
All my wife does is shop - once she was sick for a week, and three stores went under.