Henny Youngman
Henny Youngman
Henry "Henny" Youngmanwas an American comedian and violinist famous for his mastery of the "one-liner". His best known one-liner was "Take my wife ... please"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth16 March 1906
CountryUnited States of America
political political-jokes jokes
I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
teacher teaching men
A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
nice men next-day
A guy complains of a headache. Another guy says, Do what I do. I put my head on my wife's bosom, and the headache goes away. The next day, the man says, Did you do what I told you to? Yes, I sure did. By the way, you have a nice house!
funny get-well humor
A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.
i-love-you married wanted
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
anniversary husband inspiration
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
wife cards saving
Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did
When it comes to work, there are many who will stop at nothing.
wife way remember
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
funny success firsts
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
funny money motivation
I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.
crazy drinking reading
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
good-life drinking food
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
husband men doors
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.