Henny Youngman
Henny Youngman
Henry "Henny" Youngmanwas an American comedian and violinist famous for his mastery of the "one-liner". His best known one-liner was "Take my wife ... please"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth16 March 1906
CountryUnited States of America
two lawyer asks
I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'
funny humor blood
If I had blood, I'd blush.
long afternoon four
I've got enough money to last the rest of my life ... as long as I die about four o'clock this afternoon.
funny men thinking
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
funny horse winning
Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live.
funny theatre firsts
I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. "Peanuts. Popcorn."
marrying
Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.
funny might comedy
He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.
funny humor night
Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
giving-up dollars motels
A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
funny humor men
I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
wife missing cooking
I miss my wife's cooking, as often as I can
giving ulcers insult
He doesn't get ulcers - he gives them.
sea wife funny-marriage
My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.