Henny Youngman
Henny Youngman
Henry "Henny" Youngmanwas an American comedian and violinist famous for his mastery of the "one-liner". His best known one-liner was "Take my wife ... please"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth16 March 1906
CountryUnited States of America
telephones bills saws
I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
house experts divorced
Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
college drink fountain
College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
children two wonderful
I've got two wonderful children - and two out of five isn't too bad.
mother law cuckoos
Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
married
Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
funny family brother
My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
idiot paid
I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
wife luck lasts
I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
central-park four parks
I live about four muggings from Central Park.
school each-day mouths
A person asked me, How do you prepare for the stage? I told her, Well, it's like this. You go to diction school. They teach you to fill your mouth with marbles and talk right through the marbles. Each day you take one marble out. When you've lost all your marbles...
sex kids three
There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.
running men doors
A little man is running a jewelry store. A man runs in saying, Okay, take my watch, put on a new band, install a new battery, clean the case, install a new crystal, and tune it up. I will be back in a half hour for it. Thanks! and runs out the door. The little jeweler says, C-C-C-Come in?
eye i-can i-can-do-it
I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.