Henny Youngman
Henny Youngman
Henry "Henny" Youngmanwas an American comedian and violinist famous for his mastery of the "one-liner". His best known one-liner was "Take my wife ... please"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth16 March 1906
CountryUnited States of America
funny humor men
I was walking down the street, and I found a man's hand in my pocket. I asked, "What do you want?" "A match" "Why didn't you ask me?" "I don't talk to strangers."
funny humor men
I know a guy who had his doctor say, "Take some weight off, go to a health club." The man lost 20 pounds in one week! The machine tore his leg off!
funny humor doctors
"Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears." "Don't answer!"
funny humor men
A man goes to a psychiatrist. "Nobody listens to me!" The doctor says, "Next!"
funny wine humor
Doctor says to a man, "You're pregnant!" The man says, "How does a man get pregnant?" The doctor says, "The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner...."
funny hurt humor
"Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?" The doctor says, "Limp!"
funny humor men
A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!"
funny nice humor
You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.
funny humor two
She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate.
football school years
In high school football, the coach kept me on the bench all year. On the last game of the season, the crowd was yelling, We want Youngman! We want Youngman! The coach says, Youngman - go see what they want!
wife impossible losing
Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
airplane gambling las-vegas
I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
car flattery
I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
two fifty rooms
Those bellhops in Miami are tip-happy. I ordered a deck of playing cards and the bellboy made fifty-two trips to my room.