Quotes about humorous
humorous gay night
If it is gay, ribald and lascivious night-life you are after, Israel is not the place for you. The night clubs you do find are nearer in spirit to a YMCA than to dens of iniquity. George Mikes
humorous israel tears
Israel also deprived the world of its chance of shedding tears of genuine sympathy over her destruction. The world resents this; it likes to feel noble and sympathetic.
humorous israel insane
'I don't say a Zionist must be insane,' said President Weizmann, 'but it helps if he is.'
humorous israel language
Bad English was the second language of Israel and bad Hebrew, of course, remained the national language.
humorous cutting russia
When a wicked and unworthy subject annoyed the Sultan of Turkey or the Czar of Russia, he had his head cut of without much ceremony; but when the same happened in England, the monarch declared : "We are not amused".
humorous suffering today
The British suffer from a most unfortunate superiority complex - unjustified even under Victoria and most certainly hopelessly out-of-date today.
humorous kids names
People make a lot of fuss about my kids having such supposedly 'strange names', but the fact is that no matter what first names I might have given them, it is the last name that is going to get them in trouble. Frank Zappa
humorous best-kept-secrets russia
Mr. Gorbachev has apparently stumbled onto one of the best-kept secrets in recent Soviet history: Communism doesn't work.
humorous fighting profound
You're a transsexual fighting with a hermaphrodite over a mistress. Jerry Springer
humorous doctors medicine
Injections are the best thing ever invented for feeding doctors. Gabriel Garcia Marquez
humorous cities paris
The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi. Fred Allen
humorous looks want
Look at Gleason in The Honeymooners. He was humorous but the way he lived wasn't really humorous. He was a bus driver. Who wants to be a bus driver? He didn't have any money and he was not famous. But despite that, the show is humorous. George Thorogood
humorous hands two
One of the first things they teach you in Driver's Ed is where to put your hands on the steering wheel. They tell you put 'em at ten o'clock and two o' clock. Never mind that . I put mine at 9:45 and 2:17. Gives me an extra half hour to get where I'm goin'. George Carlin
humorous men caliber
When he got loaded, the human cannonball knew there were not many men of his caliber.
humorous thinking garbage
I hope we're not just human garbage drifting toward a big sewer. But I think so.
humorous climbing sides
If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side?
humorous believe belief
As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.
humorous worry hell
I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is that only part of hell will break loose and be much harder to detect.
humorous today way
In TV today, you can say I pricked my finger, but you can't say it the other way around.
humorous ideas rope
I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes; I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull some strings and find out.
humorous company
We're not supposed to mention f***ing in mixed company, but that's exactly where it takes place.
humorous people stuff
Why do they bother saying "raw sewage"? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
humorous giving helping
Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help.
humorous mcdonalds cost
McDonald's breakfast for under a dollar is actually more expensive than that. You have to factor in the cost of bypass surgery.
humorous rivers swim
As you swim the river of live, do the breast stroke. It helps to clear the turds from your path.
humorous florida police
The owner of a Florida massage parlor has been arrested by police. "There weren't any serious violations," said the officers, "she just rubbed us the wrong way."
humorous fast-food cheetahs
To me, fast food is when a cheetah eats an antelope.
humorous realizing incidents
Looking back, I realize that my life has been a series of incidents where one person has said to another, "Get this asshole outta here!"
humorous wow bows
In the doggie dictionary, under "bow wow" it says, "See "arf arf.""
humorous school down-and
In high school, when I first heard of entropy, I was attracted to it immediately. They said that in nature all systems are breaking down, and I thought, What a wonderful thing; perhaps I can make some small contribution to this process, myself.
humorous thinking balls
I should think it takes a fairly low intellect to draw pleasure from the following activity: hitting a ball with a crooked stick. and then walking after it! An then ..hitting it again!
humorous apples pears
A pear is a failed apple.
humorous average looks
When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke.