Famous Quotes & Sayings

Jay Leno

My wife loves Europe, but to me it's a bad day at a theme park.

James Hillman

Reconnecting to the animal means getting to a more sensitive, more artful and more humorous place in the psyche.

Kevin Myers

It seems that Canada's historic mission is to come to the selfless aid both of its friends and of complete strangers, and then, once the crisis is over, to be well and truly ignored. Canada is the perpetual wallflower that stands on the edge of the hall, waiting for someone to come and ask her for a dance.

Mark Twain

There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.

Mary Roberts Rinehart

Men love a joke - on the other fellow. But your really humorous woman loves a joke on herself.

Jesse Eisenberg

I guess the more serious you play something, if the context is funny, then it will be funny and it doesn't really require you to be necessarily, explicitly humorous, or silly.

Jeff Gordon

I'm not a robot; I have a personality and I have emotions. I have a humorous side to me and an angry side to me.

Groucho Marx

Mr.Blank's reputation as a card shark had preceded him. No one accused him of being dishonest, but on the other hand no one accused him of being honest.

Golda Meir

Zionism and pessimism are not compatible.

Golda Meir

If we have to have a choice between being dead and pitied, and being alive with a bad image, we'd rather be alive and have the bad image.

Golda Meir

We do not rejoice in victories. We rejoice when a new kind of cotton is grown and when strawberries bloom in Israel.

Golda Meir

One of the first sights that shocked me, when I came to Israel in 1921, was an Arab turning over a field with a very primitive plow; pulling the plow were an ox and a woman. Now, if it means that we have destroyed this romantic picture by bringing in tractors, combines, and threshing machines, this is true: we have.

Niccolo Machiavelli

Entrepreneurs are simply those who understand that there is little difference between obstacle and opportunity and are able to turn both to their advantage.

P. J. O'Rourke

I've always figured that if God wanted us to go to church a lot He'd have given us bigger behinds to sit on and smaller heads to think with.

P. J. O'Rourke

The Democrats planned to fiddle while Rome burned. The Republicans were going to burn Rome, then fiddle.

P. J. O'Rourke

East Germany was so total in its totalitarianism that everything was banned which wasn't compulsory.

P. J. O'Rourke

Each American embassy comes with two permanent features - a giant anti-American demonstration and a giant line for American visas. Most demonstrators spend half their time burning Old Glory and the other half waiting for green cards.

P. J. O'Rourke

The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and we can fix that."

P. J. O'Rourke

I was told to hand over my disposable lighter, to prevent, I suppose, any threat of "Do what I say or I'll light this Marlboro and you'll all die - in thirty years due to inhalation of secondhand smoke."

P. J. O'Rourke

Modern air travel means less time spent in transit. That time is now spent in transit lounges.

P. J. O'Rourke

The Russians could have some (warheads) aimed at Japan, so if we act up they can destroy our economy.

P. J. O'Rourke

It was to be a short visit for the G-shevs. More than four days in the U.S. and Raisa's VISA card bill would shatter the fragile Soviet economy.

P. J. O'Rourke

It had never occurred to us that the Kremlin's new anti-booze campaign would apply to journalists. Now, that's a human-rights violation.

P. J. O'Rourke

America is not a wily, sneaky nation. We don't think that way. We don't think much at all, thank God. Start thinking and pretty soon you get ideas, and then you get idealism, and the next thing you know you've got ideology, with millions dead in concentration camps and gulags.

P. J. O'Rourke

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.

Theodore Hesburgh

I'll have another beer. I'm not driving.

Terry Pratchett

In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.

Terry Pratchett

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.

Margaret Halsey

Humorists are not humorous twenty-four hours a day. In fact, when you get to know them well, they are often not humorous at all. They tend to be hypersensitive, taut, neurotic creatures driven by God know what obscure compulsion to earn their living the hard way.

Oscar Wilde

Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason.

Oscar Wilde

I don't at all like knowing what people say of me behind my back. It makes me far too conceited.

Patrick Rothfuss

We need time to relax and enjoy ourselves too, no matter how dark the story. The occasional humorous moment helps with that. That's one of the things that Joss Whedon excels at in his storytelling.

Park Chan-wook

If you are watching my films and wondering, am I missing humorous speak because I'm not Korean? Am I missing out? You don't have to worry, because you're only missing probably about a few cents worth out of your ticket price.