Famous Quotes & Sayings

Charles Dickens

There are many pleasant fictions of the law in constant operation, but there is not one so pleasant or practically humorous as that which supposes every man to be of equal value in its impartial eye, and the benefits of all laws to be equally attainable by all men, without the smallest reference to the furniture of their pockets.

David Sedaris

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

Dave Barry

England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.

Dave Barry

English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with our son.

Dave Barry

The basic Roman ruin design is a pile of rocks with a little plaque saying "Roman Ruins" and a group of tourists frowning at it and wishing they were back at the hotel bar..

Dave Barry

The Romans spent the next 200 years using their great engineering skill to construct ruins all over Europe.

Dave Barry

One key lesson of history is that virtually anything, including afternoon or evening thundershowers, causes Germany to invade Belgium.

Dave Barry

Nevada has a very dynamic economy, with gambling being the number-one industry, followed closely by blood donorship.

Dave Barry

Europeans, like some Americans, drive on the right side of the road, except in England, where they drive on both sides of the road; Italy, where they drive on the sidewalk; and France, where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby.

Brian Eno

Saying that cultural objects have value is like saying that telephones have conversations.

Chuck Palahniuk

I disconnect the telephone to keep the outside world in it's correct place.

Ambrose Bierce

There would be far fewer accidents if we could only teach telephone poles to be more careful.

Henny Youngman

I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.

Jesse Eisenberg

To criticize Facebook is to criticize the telephone.

Lee Trevino

I stay away from the telephone if at all possible.

Michael Moore

I assume everything I'm saying in an email or saying on the telephone is being looked at.

William Gibson

Cyberspace is where you are when you're on the telephone.

Salvador Dali

I do not understand why, when I ask for grilled lobster in a restaurant, I'm never served a cooked telephone.

David Sedaris

I won't put in a load of laundry, because the machine is too loud and would drown out other, more significant noises - namely, the shuffling footsteps of the living dead.

Camille Paglia

The female body is a chthonian machine, indifferent to the spirit who inhabits it.

Cathy Guisewite

I've found it's better to talk to the machine and hang up if I get the person.

Bill Janklow

Folks can't carry around money in their pocket. They've got to go to an ATM machine, and they've got to pay a few dollars to get their own dollars out of the machine. Who ever thought you'd pay cash to get cash? That's where we've gotten to.

Astro Teller

Artificial Intelligence (AI) is the science of how to get machines to do the things they do in the movies.

Bertrand Russell

Machines have altered our way of life, but not our instincts. Consequently, there is maladjustment.

Alan Turing

Machines take me by surprise with great frequency.

Bobby Fischer

It's little quirks like this that could make life difficult for a chess machine.

Charles Petzold

I started out with machine code and assembly language.