Famous Quotes & Sayings

Park Chan-wook

In my creative films, if there was something, some humorous moment that is lost to a non-Korean speaking audience, I'll be very sad.

Les Aspin

If you give Congress a chance to vote on both sides of an issue, it will always do it.

Oscar Wilde

He hadn’t a single redeeming vice.

Mark Twain

Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are God's jokes.

Mark Twain

The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.

Marvin Minsky

I cannot articulate enough to express my dislike to people who think that understanding spoils your experience... How would they know?

Michael Moore

Back in the late '90s, I put together a humorous newsmagazine program called 'The Awful Truth' for Bravo. We helped one guy get an organ transplant whose insurance company had refused to pay. I thought, if we could save a guy's life in a 10-minute segment on cable, what could we do if we devoted a whole movie to a whole bunch of people?

Michael Frayn

And this is a table ma'am. What in essence it consists of is a horizontal rectilinear plane surface maintained by four vertical columnar supports, which we call legs. The tables in this laboratory, ma'am, are as advanced in design as one will find anywhere in the world.

P. G. Wodehouse

He was a long, stripy policeman, who flowed out of his uniform at odd spots, as if Nature, setting out to make a constable, had had a good deal of material left over which she had not liked to throw away but hardly seemed able to fit into the general scheme.

P. G. Wodehouse

It looked something like a pen wiper and something like a piece of hearth-rug. A second and keener inspection revealed it as a Pekinese puppy.

P. G. Wodehouse

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

P. G. Wodehouse

It was a confusion of ideas between him and one of the lions he was hunting in Kenya that had caused A. B. Spottsworth to make the obituary column. He thought the lion was dead, and the lion thought it wasn't

P. G. Wodehouse

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

P. G. Wodehouse

Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers. Unable to make the grade, he drops down a rung of the ladder and writes novels.

Marshall McLuhan

The name of a man is a numbing blow from which he never recovers.

Herbert Beerbohm Tree

Never say a humorous thing to a man who does not possess humor. He will always use it in evidence against you.

Herb Caen

San Francisco isn't what it used to be, and it never was.

Henry David Thoreau

We admire Chaucer for his sturdy English wit.... But though it is full of good sense and humanity, it is not transcendent poetry.For picturesque description of persons it is, perhaps, without a parallel in English poetry; yet it is essentially humorous, as the loftiest genius never is.

George Mikes

The Americans are extremely gadget minded people and American gadgets have a peculiar characteristic: they work.

George Mikes

Japan is, you often feel, an improved version of the United States.

George Mikes

In Moscow they do not pay much attention to the living but keep their cemeteries in a splendid state.

George Mikes

The Japanese are human beings like the rest of us, but they will strongly resent this insinuation.

George Mikes

The poor Americans are so busy defending the rights of Hindus in Pakistan, Moslems in India, Jews in Palestine, Koreans in Japan, Italians in Yugoslavia and Hungarians in Czechoslovakia that they simply cannot give a thought to Negroes in the United States.

George Mikes

The English have no soul; they have the understatement instead.

George Mikes

Tel-Aviv airport is still the only airport in the world where each passenger is met by ten relatives.

George Mikes

If it is gay, ribald and lascivious night-life you are after, Israel is not the place for you. The night clubs you do find are nearer in spirit to a YMCA than to dens of iniquity.

George Mikes

Israel also deprived the world of its chance of shedding tears of genuine sympathy over her destruction. The world resents this; it likes to feel noble and sympathetic.

George Mikes

'I don't say a Zionist must be insane,' said President Weizmann, 'but it helps if he is.'

George Mikes

Bad English was the second language of Israel and bad Hebrew, of course, remained the national language.

George Mikes

When a wicked and unworthy subject annoyed the Sultan of Turkey or the Czar of Russia, he had his head cut of without much ceremony; but when the same happened in England, the monarch declared : "We are not amused".

George Mikes

The British suffer from a most unfortunate superiority complex - unjustified even under Victoria and most certainly hopelessly out-of-date today.

George S. Kaufman

I like terra firma; the more firma, the less terra.

Jerry Seinfeld

I wish I was a phone machine. I wish if I saw somebody on the street I didn't want to talk to I could just go, "Excuse me, I'm not here right now, If you just leave a message, I can walk away."