Famous Quotes & Sayings

Allen Klein

A little perspective, like a little humor, goes a long way.

Aesop

Clumsy jesting is no joke.

Richard Lederer

I think the humor of double puns is incredible.

Elaine Stritch

The people in New York - their humor is on a level that goes, uh, very deep, you know?

Kara Walker

Humor's always been the problem of my work, hasn't it? When working, I feel satisfied when I surprise myself. And when I surprise myself, I wind up laughing.

Janis Joplin

Gimme a pigfoot and a bottle of beer.

Ricky Gervais

A joke isn't yours. It's used and you don't know where it's been.

Tracy McMillan

Because I was a television writer for many years, I write very conversationally. I put things straight, and with a lot of humor.

Bob Costas

Any good broadcast, not just an Olympic broadcast, should have texture to it. It should have information, should have some history, should have something that's offbeat, quirky, humorous, and where called for it, should have journalism, and judiciously it should also have commentary. That's my ideal.

Billy Connolly

I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.

Brooks Atkinson

The humorous man recognizes that absolute purity, absolute justice, absolute logic and perfection are beyond human achievement and that men have been able to live happily for thousands of years in a state of genial frailty.

Eckhart Tolle

Quality requires your Presence.

Bob Newhart

I don't know how many sacred cows there are today. I think there's a little confusion between humor and gross passing for humor. That's kind of regrettable.

Billy Joel

And the only people I fear are those who never have doubts... Save us all from arrogant men, and all the causes they're for.

Bernard Williams

What a strange world this would be if we all had the same sense of humor.

David Riesman

America is not only big and rich, it is mysterious; and its capacity for the humorous or ironical concealment of its interests matches that of the legendary inscrutable Chinese.

Ben Stiller

I'm not an expert on the Malaysian sense of humor.

Benjamin Franklin

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

Benjamin Franklin

The good or ill hap of a good or ill life, is the good or ill choice of a good or ill wife.

Benjamin Franklin

The tongue offends and the ears get the cuffing

Benjamin Franklin

Mary's mouth cost her nothing for she never opens it but at others' expense.

Barbara Walters

A good laugh makes any interview, or any conversation, so much better.

Arthur Conan Doyle

Might I trouble you to open the window, for chloroform vapour does not help the palate.

Arthur Conan Doyle

He had never seen a woman doctor before, and his whole conservative soul rose up in revolt at the idea. He could not recall any biblical injunction that the man should remain ever the doctor and the woman the nurse, and yet he felt as if a blasphemy had been committed.

Arthur Conan Doyle

The less experienced a doctor is, the higher are his notions of professional dignity . . .

Arthur Conan Doyle

The sky was of the deepest blue, with a few white, fleecy clouds drifting lazily across it, and the air was filled with the low drone of insects or with a sudden sharper note as bee or bluefly shot past with its quivering, long-drawn hum, like an insect tuning-fork.

Arthur Conan Doyle

"There are one or two elementary rules to be observed in the way of handling patients," he remarked, seating himself on the table and swinging his legs. "The most obvious is that you must never let them see that you want them. It should be pure condescension on your part seeing them at all; and the more difficulties you throw in the way of it, the more they think of it. Break your patients in early, and keep them well to heel."

Arthur Conan Doyle

"Dr. Munro, sir," said he, "I am a walking museum. You could fit what ISN'T the matter with me on to the back of a -- visiting card. If there's any complaint you want to make a special study of, just you come to me, sir, and see what I can do for you. It's not every one that can say that he has had cholera three times, and cured himself by living on red pepper and brandy."

Arthur Conan Doyle

I am engaged in answering that Italian buffoon, Mazotti, whose views upon the larval development of the tropical termites have excited my derision and contempt . . .

Arthur Conan Doyle

"I have seen those symptoms before," said Holmes, throwing his cigarette into the fire. "Oscillation upon the pavement always means an affaire de coeur."

Arthur Conan Doyle

There seems to me to be absolutely no limit to the inanity and credulity of the human race. Homo Sapiens! Homo idioticus!

Arthur Conan Doyle

One dumb-bell, Watson! Consider an athlete with one dumb-bell. Picture to yourself the unilateral development - the imminent danger of a spinal curvature. Shocking, Watson, shocking!

Arthur Conan Doyle

I think you want a little unofficial help. Three undetected murders in one year won't do, Lestrade. But you handled the Molesey Mystery with less than your usual - that's to say, you handled it fairly well.