Famous Quotes & Sayings

Charles Dickens

There are many pleasant fictions of the law in constant operation, but there is not one so pleasant or practically humorous as that which supposes every man to be of equal value in its impartial eye, and the benefits of all laws to be equally attainable by all men, without the smallest reference to the furniture of their pockets.

David Sedaris

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

Dave Barry

England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.

Dave Barry

English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with our son.

Dave Barry

The basic Roman ruin design is a pile of rocks with a little plaque saying "Roman Ruins" and a group of tourists frowning at it and wishing they were back at the hotel bar..

Dave Barry

The Romans spent the next 200 years using their great engineering skill to construct ruins all over Europe.

Dave Barry

One key lesson of history is that virtually anything, including afternoon or evening thundershowers, causes Germany to invade Belgium.

Dave Barry

Nevada has a very dynamic economy, with gambling being the number-one industry, followed closely by blood donorship.

Dave Barry

Europeans, like some Americans, drive on the right side of the road, except in England, where they drive on both sides of the road; Italy, where they drive on the sidewalk; and France, where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby.

Charles Caleb Colton

Wit may do very well for a mistress, but [I] should prefer reason for a wife.

Alan Jackson

I've been a lot of places, and my wife, Denise, she likes a lot of the fancy restaurants. I'm more of a basic eater. I still go into Cracker Barrel. Those are the kind of people who like the kind of music I'm making.

Akshay Kumar

Why bother with Google when I have a wife who knows everything about everything!

Chris Black

My wife will tell you that I'm very particular and it's annoying for other people. I eat the same thing every day. I go to the gym at the same time every day. I go to L.A. all the time, so I take that same 9:30 flight. I will not take another one.

Chick Corea

My wife, Gayle, is a wonderful musician and singer. We share music, so it's a deep bond.

Dave Chappelle

My wife asked me once if I weren't a comedian what I would do. I couldn't answer the question. I never imagined doing anything else.

Dave Barry

You can be the smartest person in the world - which Bill Clinton is, and if he's not, his wife is - and care more than anybody else in the world - which he does, I don't doubt that for a minute. And you can care so much that you're willing to be dishonest - you can tell people one thing but do another because you really know it's for their own good. And you'll still screw it all up. Because the whole premise of what you're doing is wrong!

Buddy Hackett

My wife said to me, "I want to be cremated." I said, "How about Tuesday?"

Bryan Ferry

I met John Lennon and he was with his wife in Tokyo. I met him there.

Charles Simmons

Good intentions are very mortal and perishable things. Like very mellow and choice fruit, they are difficult to keep.

Charles Stanley

The difficulties we face originate from one of three sources. Some are sent to us by the Lord to test our faith, others are the result of Satan's attacks, and still others are due to our own sinful choices.

Alan Autry

Leadership demands that we make tough choices.

Aiden Wilson Tozer

When we make a choice today, we are deciding who we will be tomorrow.

Chris Christie

Remember, this is a binary choice. It's going to be the approach that Donald Trump takes or the approach that Hillary Clinton takes, not some other approach. And the Clinton approach is just a completely unacceptable one, it's an unlawful one.

Darren Shan

When he faced me again, he looked ashamed of himself. "I have gravely underestimated you, Darren," he said. "I will not do so again. I made a wiser choice than I realized when I chose you to serve as my assistant. I feel honoured to have you by my side.

David Rakoff

Everybody's got something. In the end, what choice does one really have but to understand that truth, to really take it in, and then shop for groceries, get a haircut, do one's work; get on with the business of one's life. That's the hope, anyway.

Bryn Terfel

I enjoy all aspects of singing and I'm luckily given the choice to be part of different styles of music.

C. J. Mahaney

We don't accidentally drift into holiness; rather we mature gradually and purposefully, one choice at a time.