Famous Quotes & Sayings

Bob Hope

The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don't know which end to talk to.

Bob Hope

Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.

Bob Hope

Our first stop was red square, the heart of Moscow - if Moscow has one.

Bob Hope

The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I've encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE - and a maid to press it for me.

Bob Hope

There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood.

Bob Hope

English clubs are very exclusive. I played Royal Foxshire and they made me wear a suit and tie. . . in the shower.

Bob Hope

There's a very apt saying in show business: "If you don't go over budget in Paris, you're either very rich or very sick. "

Bob Hope

I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.

Bob Hope

Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.

Bob Hope

It's a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he's dead.

Bob Hope

We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.

Bob Hope

England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.

Bob Hope

Free speech isn't dead in Germany and Italy, merely the speakers...

Daniel Handler

I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.

Ashleigh Brilliant

All I want is a warm bed and a kind word and unlimited power.

Ashleigh Brilliant

My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating.

Arthur Hailey

The president of General Motors was in a foul humor.

Diane Keaton

Humor helps us get through life with a modicum of grace. It offers one of the few benign ways of coping with the absurdity of it all.

Dennis Ritchie

The notion of a record is an obsolete remnant of the days of the 80-column card.

William Shakespeare

A college of wit-crackers cannot flout me out of my humor. Dost thou think I care for a satire or an epigram?

Bob Newhart

I don't know how many sacred cows there are today. I think there's a little confusion between humor and gross passing for humor. That's kind of regrettable.

Billy Joel

And the only people I fear are those who never have doubts... Save us all from arrogant men, and all the causes they're for.

Bernard Williams

What a strange world this would be if we all had the same sense of humor.

David Riesman

America is not only big and rich, it is mysterious; and its capacity for the humorous or ironical concealment of its interests matches that of the legendary inscrutable Chinese.

She had a robust sense of humor and the most infectious laugh.

Since it's a very small car, I don't have much office space.

Edsger Dijkstra

PL/1, the fatal disease, belongs more to the problem set than to the solution set.

Aristotle

Wit is cultured insolence.

Aristotle

Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.

Eddie Vedder

Caffeine. The gateway drug.

Elinor Glyn

American humor ... is not subtle. It is something that makes you laugh the moment you hear it, you have not to think a scrap.

Dizzy Dean

The pitcher wound up and he flang the ball at the batter. The batter swang and missed. The pitcher flang the ball again and this time the batter connected. He hit a high fly right to the center fielder. The center fielder was all set to catch the ball, but at the last minute his eyes were blound by the sun and he dropped it.

John Scalzi

Many of the writers who have inspired me most are outside the genre: Humorists like Robert Benchley and James Thurber, screenwriters like Ben Hecht and William Goldman, and journalists/columnists like H.L. Mencken, Mike Royko and Molly Ivins.