Famous Quotes & Sayings

Charles Caleb Colton

Expect not praise without envy until you are dead.

Charles Dickens

There are many pleasant fictions of the law in constant operation, but there is not one so pleasant or practically humorous as that which supposes every man to be of equal value in its impartial eye, and the benefits of all laws to be equally attainable by all men, without the smallest reference to the furniture of their pockets.

Charles Simmons

Good Humor is the best shield against the darts of satirical raillery

Alan Watts

The reason we want to go on and on is because we live in an impoverished present.

Alan Moore

Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense.

David Sedaris

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

Dave Barry

England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.

Dave Barry

English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with our son.

Dave Barry

The basic Roman ruin design is a pile of rocks with a little plaque saying "Roman Ruins" and a group of tourists frowning at it and wishing they were back at the hotel bar..

David Ansen

The plethora of special effects -- some dazzling, some clumsy -- make "Harry Potter" at times resemble a generic Hollywood horror movie. That three-headed dog that stands guard over a treasure was better left to the imagination. . .

Laurence Housman

If I loved all the world as I do you, I shouldn't write books to it: I should only write letters to it, and that would be only a clumsy stage on the way to entire telepathy.

Lynn Coady

Flowers are an easy, eloquent expression of love at a time when words can seem clumsy and inadequate.

Christopher Mintz-Plasse

I was playing baseball, and I tripped over first base - I'm very clumsy - and I fell and broke my wrist. That was pretty painful.

Elaine Nash

I was like a big clumsy giant trying to do something that flies do better The flower is probably maybe 1/8 of an inch to 1/4 of an inch across, and it's hard to even see without a magnifying glass. I was having to do it hit or miss like that.

Jackie Cavaco

He is so big you'd think he would be clumsy or a pain, but he is not. This is what he likes to do all day long.

Sophie Swetchine

In order to have an enemy, one must be somebody. One must be a force before he can be resisted by another force. A malicious enemy is better than a clumsy friend.

E. B. White

It is not at all surprising that with the clumsy handling of the Yukos situation we started to see production falls last October. But now as things are getting back to normal we may see a production recovery back on track.

Amy Ray

Your physicality is this great thing, but it is also the thing that makes you clumsy and limits you in the world, so to speak.

David Cross

I just often find myself getting shrill, angry and the jokes get more incredulous.

Cesar Romero

A joke a day keeps the gloom away!

Issa Rae

I personally don't feel any pressure to make jokes about multiple baby-fathers and stereotypical black jokes, because one, that's just not my life, and two, I wouldn't even sound right talking about those things.

Ricky Gervais

I can't find someone funny whom I don't like. Hitler told great jokes. I didn't find it funny at all.

Billie Joe Armstrong

I thought everybody was in on the joke. But I was the joke.

Matt McKenna

She jokes around with you and listens to your ideas.

David Walton

Everyone can write jokes and makes things clever.

Frank Caliendo

I was very stale at Fox. Much of it was my own fault. I was lazy and didn't fight for things I wanted to do at other times. Most of my stuff consisted of setup/punchline jokes to the camera - a very old-school approach. I was part of the establishment, I guess.

Adam Brody

My best jokes are so cheap. All I do is say things sarcastically.