Famous Quotes & Sayings

Frank Carson

My uncle Jimmy took liver salts twice a day for 40 years. He died on Sunday, was buried Wednesday and the following Friday they had to go to the cemetery to beat his liver to death with a stick.

Frank Carson

An Irishman's wife gave birth to twins. Her husband wanted to know who the other man was.

Frank Carson

There were two Irishmen eating sandwiches in a pub and the landlord said: "You can't eat your own food in here." So they swapped sandwiches.

Frank Carson

I'm staying in a lovely hotel, dressing robe behind the door, lovely fluffy sheets - took me a half an hour getting my suitcase closed.

Frank Carson

A man says to his mate: "My wife is a twin." His mate says, "How do you tell them apart?" The man says: "Her brother has a beard."

Frank Carson

It's my wife Ruth's birthday soon. I said to her: "What would you like for your birthday?" She said: "I want a divorce." I said: "I wasn't planning on spending that much."

Frank Carson

Doctor told me I've got two weeks to live. I said: "Can I have the last week in July and the 1st week in August?"

Frank Carson

A girl asks her doctor, "Doctor, I've forgotten to take my contradictory pill!" The doctor says: "Are you ignorant?" The girl says: "Yes, three months!"

Francoise Sagan

Money may not buy happiness, but I'd rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.

Francoise Sagan

A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to take it off of you.

Frank Rizzo

The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe.

George Jean Nathan

Love is the emotion that a woman feels always for a poodle dog and sometimes for a man.

George Jean Nathan

The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.

Christopher Atkins

Thank God for machines. They can make a dog sing!

Christine Feehan

Of course I can do this. I'm pregnant, not brain-damaged. My condition doesn't change my personality.

Christie Brinkley

Life is short. Ricky and I realize how lucky we were. We want to be together all the time.

Christian Slater

I just killed my best friend... and my worst enemy. What's the difference?

Chris Jericho

You've got a man-beast, and a ho-beast.

George W. Bush

Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.

George W. Bush

I'm the decider, and I decide what is best.

George W. Bush

Americans spend 6 billion hours a year filling out their tax reforms.

George W. Bush

If you don't stand for anything, you don't stand for anything!

George W. Bush

They misunderestimated me.

George W. Bush

This may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about.. when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me.

George W. Bush

If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.

George W. Bush

Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better.

George W. Bush

It's your money. You paid for it.

George W. Bush

Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

George W. Bush

I think war is a dangerous place.

George W. Bush

One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.

George W. Bush

To those of you who received honours, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you, too, can be president of the United States.

George W. Bush

A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it.

George W. Bush

Will the highways on the Internet become more few?