Famous Quotes & Sayings

George Mikes

Continental people have a sex life; the English have hot-water bottles.

George Mikes

A great deal of the pupils time was spent going through, once again, the History of the Communist (Bolshevik) Party of the Soviet Union. He had learnt it at elementary school; at secondary school; at his sports club; at the Komsomol; at the university; at a folk dancing course; at the chess-club.

George Mikes

Japan suffered terribly from the atomic bomb but never adopted a pose of moral superiority, implying: 'We would never have done it!' The Japanese know perfectly well they would have used it had they had it. They accept the idea that war is war; they give no quarter and accept none. Total war, they recognize, knows no Queensberry Rules. If you develop a devastating new weapon during a total war, you use it; you do not put it into the War Museum.

G. Gordon Liddy

A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.

Friedrich Nietzsche

When one has not had a good father, one must create one.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Is man one of God's blunders? Or is God one of man's blunders?

Friedrich Nietzsche

The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.

Friedrich Nietzsche

A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

Friedrich Nietzsche

In heaven, all the interesting people are missing.

Jeanette Winterson

When a woman gives birth her waters break and she pours out the child and the child runs free.

Jim Carrey

Just because I rock doesn't mean I am made of stone.

Jim Carrey

Don't you just hate it, when you are in bed with three beautiful women, and the least attractive one whispers: save it for me!

Jim Carrey

Until Ace Ventura, no actor had considered talking through his ass.

Jim Carrey

I can be your best friend or your worst enemy. You seem to prefer the latter.

Jim Carrey

If I'm not back in 5 minutes, just wait longer.

Jim Carrey

Ever since I started to get recognition I've picked out certain fans and reverse-stalked them.

Jim Carrey

I got a lot of support from my parents. That's the one thing I always appreciated. They didn't tell me I was being stupid; they told me I was being funny.

Jim Carrey

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Jennifer Weiner

Divorce isn't such a tragedy. A tragedy's staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce.

Jef Raskin

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

George Eliot

That quiet mutual gaze of a trusting husband and wife is like the first moment of rest or refuge from a great weariness or a great danger-not to be interfered with by speech or action which would distract the sensations from the fresh enjoyment of repose.

George Eliot

The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down.

Gary Oldman

It's funny: I'm a lifelong musician, but because I principally play the piano it's been a solitary thing.

Gabriel Iglesias

I'll walk up to a woman, I'll say the first thing that comes to mind: 'Hey, you hungry?'

Gabriel Iglesias

I got off the plane - I was walking and cooking at the same time.

Gabriel Iglesias

I'm a big boy, but I can get jiggy with it. Ladies, I will go to dance clubs, and I will tear it up hardcore for a good 30 seconds.

Franz Liszt

I am not fond of speaking about politics because I don't have in my possession an army of 200,000 soldiers.

Fred Armisen

Remember that there's no one way of doing things. ... If you just get a hammer and hit it really hard, whatever it is, I guarantee you it'll open.

Fred Allen

An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.

Fred Allen

During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoying big talk.

Fred Allen

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.

Fred Allen

Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.