Related Quotes
funny humorous mind
I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it. Charles Dickens
funny morning self
All knives and forks were working away at a rate that was quite alarming; very few words were spoken; and everybody seemed to eat his utmost, in self defence, as if a famine were expected to set in before breakfast-time to-morrow morning, and it had become high time to assert the first law of nature.
funny death witty
He would make a lovely corpse.
funny kings humorous
It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions.
funny people literature
Although a skillful flatterer is a most delightful companion if you have him all to yourself, his taste becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people.
funny christmas xmas
Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!
funny law people
If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.
funny marriage wedding
Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner. Charles Caleb Colton
funny age fifty
I'm aiming by the time I'm fifty to stop being an adolescent.
humor envy praise
Expect not praise without envy until you are dead.
humorous eye men
There are many pleasant fictions of the law in constant operation, but there is not one so pleasant or practically humorous as that which supposes every man to be of equal value in its impartial eye, and the benefits of all laws to be equally attainable by all men, without the smallest reference to the furniture of their pockets.
humor shields darts
Good Humor is the best shield against the darts of satirical raillery Charles Simmons
humor want goes-on
The reason we want to go on and on is because we live in an impoverished present. Alan Watts
humor comedian realizing
Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense. Alan Moore
humorous mind looks
Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it. David Sedaris
humorous school world
England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria. Dave Barry
humorous son english-history
English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with our son.
humorous rocks design
The basic Roman ruin design is a pile of rocks with a little plaque saying "Roman Ruins" and a group of tourists frowning at it and wishing they were back at the hotel bar..
chickens malicious
The most malicious god is the god of the counted chicken. David Mitchell
chickens cracks floor screens walking
When we got married, we had nothing. We had no water, no utilities. There were no screens on the house. There were cracks in the floor big enough you could see the chickens walking under the house. Mary LeBlanc
chickens counting incredibly
What he said was incredibly encouraging, but I'm not counting any chickens yet.
chickens contain harmful percent poultry recent statistics tend turkeys
Most poultry contain harmful bacteria. Recent statistics show that about 60 percent of chickens -- broilers -- are contaminated with campylobacter, and 10 percent with salmonella. And turkeys tend to be higher.
chickens dogs feed gives home office stop time until walk words work written
I get up around 8 o'clock, which gives me enough time to walk dogs and feed chickens and horses. Then I get to work in my home office upstairs, and basically, I don't stop until I've written 2,000 words and/or the Stephen Colbert show is over. Lisa Scottoline
chickens collection fantasize hot keeping love paint roof save system white
I'd love to paint our roof white - it's so hot down here in Texas! - and I'd love to have a rainwater collection system to save rain runoff for later. I also love to fantasize about keeping chickens in the backyard. Katherine Center
chickens count days hatched produce solid
You know, you can never count your chickens before they're hatched with this game. We all know that. All it is, is two days of solid golf. I'm going to have to go out there and produce the same thing on the weekend.
chickens eat glad taste
I eat them at home, so I was really glad when they started having them here. I feel better that the chickens aren't in cages. It's better for them, and I think they taste better.
chickens dead eat field telling
I have been in the field and they say 'What are you telling us? We eat dead chickens and we have been doing that for centuries'.