Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
funny humor thinking
I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
funny teacher school
When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.
funny humor use
If I ever had twins, I'd use one for parts.
funny firsts succeed
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
funny humor simple
I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.
funny humor barbie
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
funny humor frustration
At one point he decided enough was enough.
funny humor comedy
My neighbor has a circular driveway... he can't get out.
funny humor computer
If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.
funny humorous needs
When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, 'Well, what do you need?'
funny inspiration humor
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
funny friendship baby
My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
funny money humor
I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, 'What for?' I said, 'I'm going to buy some sugar.'
funny hilarious witty
On the other hand, you have different fingers.