Famous Quotes & Sayings

Chris Rock

So if you're black or brown, you can make money in America, you can get rich in America ... but whatever you decide to do, it better be positive, 'cause if one person is harmed, you will be destroyed. You see Oprah, she just be giving away money. She's doing that to keep the Feds off her back.

Chris Rock

I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.

Chris Rock

Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing.

Chris Rock

Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?

Chris Rock

If you're black, you got to look at America a little bit different. You got to look at America like the uncle who paid for you to go to college, but who molested you.

Chris Rock

If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.

Chris Rock

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Chris Rock

Don't argue! You cannot win, you cannot beat a woman in a arguement. It's impossble you will not win. Cause men, we are handicapped when it comes to arguing cause we have a need to make sense

Chris Rock

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

Chris Rock

If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game.

Chris Rock

A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House.

Chris Rock

I used to work at McDonald's making minimum wage. You know what that means when someone pays you minimum wage? You know what your boos was trying to say? "Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it's against the law.

Chris Rock

Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.

Chris Rock

Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.

Chris Messina

I like funny things, but I don't find myself particularly funny.

Germaine Greer

No sex is better than bad sex.

Francis Bacon

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.

Francesca Annis

The funny thing is I'm not bothered or sad about being on my own - after all I've never had a husband.

Fran Lebowitz

Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.

Fran Lebowitz

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one.

Fran Lebowitz

If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

Fran Lebowitz

Bread that must be sliced with an axe is bread that is too nourishing.

Fran Lebowitz

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

Fran Lebowitz

Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.

Fran Lebowitz

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

Fran Lebowitz

Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.

Fran Lebowitz

All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.

Fran Lebowitz

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.

Fran Lebowitz

Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.

Fran Lebowitz

You're only as good as your last haircut.

Fran Lebowitz

When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.

George Orwell

All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.

George Mikes

They (Americans) have their national game, baseball - which is cricket played with a strong American accent - and they have a national language, entirely their own, unlike any other language spoken on the earth.