Famous Quotes & Sayings

Nicki Minaj

I'm in my dressing room about to play to a sold-out crowd at the O2 arena in Ireland. Name a female rapper who's ever done that and I will give you $100,000.

Nicki Minaj

I'mma just do me, when it feel right.

Nick Offerman

I would like Americans to make things with their hands. Thomas Jefferson and I feel that makes for a much stronger nation.

Marv Albert

Steve Kerr, now coaching Golden State after eight tumultuous and very inconsistent years at TNT.

Mark Twain

The idea that no gentleman ever swears is all wrong. He can swear and still be a gentleman if he does it in a nice and benevolent and affectionate way.

Mark Twain

If there are no cigars in heaven, I shall not go.

Mark Twain

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.

Mark Twain

A tax is a fine for doing well, a fine is a tax for doing wrong.

Mark Twain

A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt

Nicholas Sparks

I had no choice. Love does funny things to people.

Nicholas Sparks

I may be irresponsible but I am a good irresponsible.

Nicholas Sparks

He was the toast to her butter.

Navjot Singh Sidhu

It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

Natalie Wood

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.

Natasha Leggero

Do they give Pulitzers for tweets yet?

Natasha Leggero

I don't see the point of watching men exercise.

Natasha Leggero

Have you heard his new song? 'Cause he thinks he's a black man now.

Natasha Leggero

The waiters in France could all be senators in the US.

Natasha Leggero

How are you gonna make an 'idol' from the type of person you're trying to avoid in real life?

Natasha Leggero

The only thing that makes me cry at weddings is the DJ's playlist.

Natasha Leggero

I wish his music came out of the closet and admit that it sucks.

Natasha Leggero

Ke$ha IS the walk of shame.

Natasha Leggero

Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce?

Natasha Leggero

TLC should stand for Toddlers, Lunatics, and Cake.

Natasha Leggero

Don't be intimidated by my outfit, it's Forever 21.

Natasha Leggero

Make a sex tape, upload it, get on a reality show, release a perfume, retire. That's the new American dream.

Natasha Leggero

Getting worried there might not be enough talent in America to acommodate all these singing shows.

Natasha Leggero

The more developed your abs, the less time you've spent reading.

Natasha Leggero

Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.

Natasha Leggero

I think how tan a person is, is directly proportionate to how dumb they are.

Natasha Leggero

If Jesus had known that his image would end up on Justin Bieber's calf, he would've never started Christianity.

Natasha Leggero

I just went home to Illinois, and I asked my family, 'Are you guys planning on talking in those accents the whole time I'm home?' And my mother said, 'You used to talk like that, too, Tasha.' And I said, 'Yes, but you see, I've reinvented myself. Do you have any idea who I think I am?'

Natasha Leggero

Bragging that you had sex with a prostitute is like bragging that you got Doritos out of a vending machine.