Related Quotes
funny humorous mind
I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it. Charles Dickens
funny morning self
All knives and forks were working away at a rate that was quite alarming; very few words were spoken; and everybody seemed to eat his utmost, in self defence, as if a famine were expected to set in before breakfast-time to-morrow morning, and it had become high time to assert the first law of nature.
funny death witty
He would make a lovely corpse.
funny kings humorous
It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions.
funny people literature
Although a skillful flatterer is a most delightful companion if you have him all to yourself, his taste becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people.
funny christmas xmas
Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!
funny law people
If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.
funny marriage wedding
Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner. Charles Caleb Colton
funny age fifty
I'm aiming by the time I'm fifty to stop being an adolescent.
humor envy praise
Expect not praise without envy until you are dead.
humorous eye men
There are many pleasant fictions of the law in constant operation, but there is not one so pleasant or practically humorous as that which supposes every man to be of equal value in its impartial eye, and the benefits of all laws to be equally attainable by all men, without the smallest reference to the furniture of their pockets.
humor shields darts
Good Humor is the best shield against the darts of satirical raillery Charles Simmons
humor want goes-on
The reason we want to go on and on is because we live in an impoverished present. Alan Watts
humor comedian realizing
Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense. Alan Moore
humorous mind looks
Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it. David Sedaris
humorous school world
England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria. Dave Barry
humorous son english-history
English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with our son.
humorous rocks design
The basic Roman ruin design is a pile of rocks with a little plaque saying "Roman Ruins" and a group of tourists frowning at it and wishing they were back at the hotel bar..
saws toilets scream
If you stepped out of the shower and saw a leprechaun standing at the base of your toilet, would you scream, or would you innately understand that he meant you no harm?
saws necks deer
I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer Bo Burnham
saws fans looks
Fans always ask, What did the bedroom look like? All they ever saw was Alice or Ralph going in and out. Audrey Meadows
saws washington-monument catastrophe
Saw Washington Monument. Phallic. Appalling. A national catastrophe. Arnold Bennett
saws holes prove-it
You do angry. I just saw it. And you left at least one hole in my carpet to prove it. Deborah Harkness
saws firsts actors
I wanted to be an actor. I decided when I was very young, when I first saw movies, that I wanted to be an actor. Dennis Hopper
saws want shoulders
If you walk up to some random person on the street, grab them by the shoulder, and say 'Did you just see what I saw?!', you'll find that no-one wants to talk to you. Bill Murray
saws advantage
There were very few women comics when I started out doing stand-up. But I always saw that as a great advantage. Carol Leifer
saws republican activist
I was a Republican, and I saw the activists and what they were doing; it was intolerable to me. Charlie Crist