Famous Quotes & Sayings

Johnny Depp

Ugliness is better than beauty. It lasts longer and in the end, gravity will get us all.

Johnny Depp

I try to stay in a constant state of confusion just because of the expression it leaves on my face.

Johnny Depp

If you catch me saying 'I am a serious actor,' I beg you to slap me.

John Rawls

Man is a historical being : The realisations of the powers of human individuals living at any one time takes the cooperation of many generations (or even societies) over a long period of time. By contrast with humankind, every individual animal can and does do what for the most part it might do, or what any other of its kind might or can do that lives at the same time.

John Otway

Every prosperous person who does not work has a creative scheme that does.

James Roday

Dude, are my eyes seeing what my brain is telling my eyes that they're seeing?

James Russell Lowell

If we see light at the end of the tunnel, it's the light of the oncoming train.

James Russell Lowell

Truth, after all, wears a different face to everybody, and it would be too tedious to wait till all were agreed.

Laurence J. Peter

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Laurence J. Peter

Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.

Laurence J. Peter

Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.

Laurence J. Peter

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

Laurence J. Peter

A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.

Laurence Sterne

Upon looking back from the end of the last chapter and surveying the texture of what has been wrote, it is necessary, that upon this page and the five following, a good quantity of heterogeneous matter be inserted, to keep up that just balance betwixt wisdom and folly, without which a book would not hold together a single year.

Laurence Sterne

There are worse occupations in this world than feeling a woman's pulse.

Laura Dern

You can hardly tell where the computer models finish and the real dinosaurs begin

Larry Gelbart

Television is a weapon of mass distractrion.

Larry Gelbart

Marriage isn't all that it's cracked up to be. Let me tell you, honestly. Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce.

Lalu Prasad Yadav

I know some people say I can be funny. But there is always a deeper meaning to what I say. I am a socialist at heart and have the interests of the poor in mind. When people see how I manage to work my way out of tough situations, it gives them hope in their own life.

Friedrich Durrenmatt

Humor is the mask of wisdom.

George Farquhar

Grant me some wild expressions, Heavens, or I shall burst.

George Foreman

I hit Ali with everything and he said 'is that all you got' and I said 'yeah, that's pretty much it.'

Jon Kabat-Zinn

The funny thing about stopping is that as soon as you do it, here you are.

Jon Foreman

Well, the funny thing is, you are never the same person that you were the day before.

Jon Foreman

Happiness is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth.

Johnny Vegas

It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether.

Johnny Carson

It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, "if you want it your way, cook it yourself."

Johnny Carson

The difference between divorce and legal separation is that legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.

Johnny Carson

Happiness is sitting down to watch some slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out that he spent two weeks in a nudist colony.

Johnny Carson

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

Johnny Carson

The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.

Johnny Carson

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.

Johnny Carson

For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.