Famous Quotes & Sayings

Larry David

People have often wondered how they'd feel if they were adopted. I think it's funny.

Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words mank and ind. What do these words mean? It's a mystery and that's why so is mankind.

Susan Stroman

Mel has written 10 new songs, and they're very funny. It's a year and a half away from opening on Broadway.

Billy Corgan

The funny thing about me that most people never really understand is that, at heart, I'm really a jock.

Bill Shankly

A football team is like a piano. You need eight men to carry it and three who can play the damn thing.

Bill Engvall

He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like "there's a golf shot. That's a golf shot." Well of course it's a golf shot; I just hit a golf ball. You don't see Gretzky skating around going "there's a hockey shot, that's a hockey shot."

Bill Engvall

My son is 12 now, and is really getting into girls. A lot. But the thing about twelve year old boys is that they don't possess what I like to call that ... discretionary gene yet. We were walking home from the ballfield the other day and there was a woman walking towards us who was ... gifted. I saw them, and I saw him see them. But she was too close for me to go, "Dude, shut up." She hadn't walked two feet behind us and he goes "God dang, did you see the SIZE of those things?" And all I could say was "Yeah, I did!"

Bill Engvall

No parents. You have Uncle Jesse, forever in overalls. Then there's Bo and Duke. What do they do? I never saw them working for food or gas money. You can only kill so many possum.

Bill Engvall

I thought "RV" stood for "Recreational Vehicle." No! It stands for "Ruins Vacations."

Howard Dean

Mr. President, where are the weapons that you told us about?

Dianne Feinstein

When the gunman realizes that nobody else is armed, he will lay down his weapons and turn himself in ... that's just human nature.

Walter Benjamin

We need to be weapons of mass construction, weapons of mass love. It's not enough just to change the system. We need to change ourselves.

Samuel Butler

Women can stand a beating except when it is with their own weapons.

Aldrich Ames

The national security state has many unfair and cruel weapons in its arsenal, but that of junk science is one which can be fought and perhaps defeated.

Adolf Hitler

If freedom is short of weapons, we must compensate with willpower.

Abu Bakar Bashir

The Afghans did not have sophisticated weapons like the Soviets did, but with their faith they defeated a superpower.

Agatha Christie

Our weapon is our knowledge. But remember, it may be a knowledge we may not know that we possess.

Orson Scott Card

If words can be lethal weapons, I must provide them with an arsenal.

Bill Condon

It's in the nature of television to restrain the spontaneity of a live event. Things become more and more prepackaged.

John Street

I think they've been unfairly treated, ... You don't need to be in the Superdome, you look at the television and you can see it.

Sharon Thomas

I watch television and I cry, and then I watch television and then I cry, and then I go on.

Annabella Sciorra

I don't have a television, so I don't know what they do,

Rick Baker

I think you've been on television plenty, Ed,

Aaron Harberts

Gretchen actually used to work at a television station.

Bille August

I wanted to make Jerusalem as feature film. But we couldn't finance it only through theatrical release, we couldn't get all the money we needed. We had to get some money from television. So we said, ok, let's do it both ways. So we did it in four parts.

Chris Elliott

Somehow, by just continually pestering the general public by appearing on television, they accepted me and wanted more.

Carol Burnett

The audience is never wrong.