Famous Quotes & Sayings

William Shakespeare

Frailty, thy name is woman!

William Shakespeare

Do you not know I am a woman? when I think, I must speak.

William Shakespeare

As he was valiant, I honour him. But as he was ambitious, I slew him.

Billy Sunday

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.

Bill Nye

Humor is everywhere in that there's irony in just about anything a human does.

Bill Murray

I'm a nut, but not just a nut.

Bertolt Brecht

What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone?

Bertolt Brecht

What is the robbing of a bank compared to the founding of a bank?

Benjamin Spock

There are only two things a child will share willingly; communicable diseases and its mother's age.

Bertrand Russell

To be happy in this world, especially when youth is past, it is necessary to feel oneself not merely an isolated individual whose day will soon be over, but part of the stream of life slowing on from the first germ to the remote and unknown future.

Bertrand Russell

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf.

Bernard Baruch

The main purpose of the stock market is to make fools of as many men as possible.

Carol Leifer

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

Carol Leifer

It was a mixed marriage. I'm human, and he was a Klingon.

Carl Friedrich Gauss

Ask her to wait a moment I am almost done.

I'm a terrific mimic, and you can feel my funny bone.

We're in a funny space. Too much good news is not good news because the market worries about the Fed.

Cathy Guisewite

Defy your own group. Rebel against yourself.

Cathy Guisewite

I'm more financially successful, but it just means the shopping blunders I make are bigger now.

Cathy Guisewite

Every time I get something under control in my own life, the world provides more material.

Catherine Zeta-Jones

I think egg boiling is the hardest thing I've ever done, but I can make a tiramisu anytime you want.

Casey Stengel

There comes a time in every man's life, and I've had plenty of them.

Casey Stengel

They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that?

Casey Stengel

Oldtimers, weekends, and airplane landings are alike. If you can walk away from them, they're successful.

Casey Stengel

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Carl Hiaasen

I've always enjoyed making people laugh. But in order for me to be funny, I have to get ticked off about something.

Carl Jung

The woman is increasingly aware that love alone can give her full stature, just as the man begins to discern that spirit alone can endow his life with its highest meaning. Fundamentally, therefore, both seek a psychic relation to the other, because love needs the spirit, and the spirit love, for their fulfillment.

Carl Jung

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.

Calvin Trillin

The margin of error in astrology is plus or minus one hundred percent.

Calvin Trillin

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

We're still pretty funny but we realized that when things are too funny out front, people don't get through to the serious core, ... We wanted to show the other side.

Princess Anne

When I appear in public, people expect me to neigh, grind my teeth, paw the ground and swish my tail - none of which is easy.

Princess Anne

Golf seems to me an arduous way to go for a walk. I prefer to take the dogs out.