Famous Quotes & Sayings

Craig Ferguson

When in doubt about who's to blame. Blame the English.

Craig Ferguson

Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde is a metaphor for alcoholism. He drinks a potion, becomes a monster. I know exactly how he feels.

Craig Ferguson

You gotta laugh because if you didn't you'd cry

Craig Ferguson

This book could scare them. The sex, the violence, the dream sequences and the iconoclasm - I think a lot of people are uncomfortable with that. I understand that. It was very uncomfortable to write some of it

Craig Ferguson

Canada is not the party. Its the apartment above the party.

Craig Ferguson

A dozen swimming events have already been completed in the Olympic competition. I wonder where they got the name 'Speedo.' It doesn't sound like a bathing suit, it sounds like a breakfast cereal for meth addicts.

Craig Ferguson

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with telling the truth. I know it isn’t fashionable.

Craig Ferguson

I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.

Craig Ferguson

I'm gonna enjoy being old I think I'll be awesome at it.

Craig Ferguson

Its easier to feel a little more spiritual with a couple of bucks in your pocket.

Craig Ferguson

Anyone who's just driven 90 yards against huge men trying to kill them has earned the right to do Jazz hands.

Craig Ferguson

If I start giving people what they like I'll turn into one of them and I don't want to be one of them I want to be one of me.

Craig Ferguson

It may be that the fear contains information. Something can be interesting if you get to the other side of that fear.

Craig Ferguson

....maybe fear is God's way of saying, "Pay attention, this could be fun.

Craig Ferguson

I'm not so much a dragon slayer, more a dragon annoyer -- I'm a dragon irritater.

Craig Ferguson

I freely admit I'm confused. I'm a confused and troubled individual but at the same time...Its Free!

Craig Ferguson

It 's the time of year when Canadians mate.

Craig Ferguson

I love zombies. If any monster could Riverdance, it would be zombies.

Craig Ferguson

Thanks cows. I appreciate your tastiness.

Craig Ferguson

If it doesn't work, at least it will be an interesting train wreck.

That's the old ecological tale that explains humans' inability to fully appreciate global warming. To wit: if you drop a frog in a pan of hot water, it jumps out. If you drop it in a pan of cold water, then turn the heat up slowly, you can roast it to death.

Coco Chanel

Nature gives you the face you have at twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty.

Coco Chanel

My friends, there are no friends.

Clarence Day

If you don't go to other men's funerals, they won't go to yours.

Clarence Day

Age should not have its face lifted, but it should rather teach the world to admire wrinkles as the etchings of experience and the firm line of character.

Elizabeth Taylor

When you're fat, the world is divided into two groups - people who bug you and people who leave you alone. The funny thing is, supporters and saboteurs exist in either camp.

Elizabeth Jones

He is so shaggy. People are amazed when he gets up and they suddenly realize they have been talking to the wrong end.

Elizabeth Hurley

I've always wanted to be a spy, and frankly I'm a little surprised that British intelligence has never approached me.

Ashleigh Brilliant

I don't understand you. You don't understand me. What else do we have in common?

Ashleigh Brilliant

Forgive me now - tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty.

Ashleigh Brilliant

I try to take it one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.

Ashleigh Brilliant

For some strange reason, no matter where I go, the place is always called "here".

Ashleigh Brilliant

I don't have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem.