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funny humorous mind
I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it. Charles Dickens
funny morning self
All knives and forks were working away at a rate that was quite alarming; very few words were spoken; and everybody seemed to eat his utmost, in self defence, as if a famine were expected to set in before breakfast-time to-morrow morning, and it had become high time to assert the first law of nature.
funny death witty
He would make a lovely corpse.
funny kings humorous
It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions.
funny people literature
Although a skillful flatterer is a most delightful companion if you have him all to yourself, his taste becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people.
funny christmas xmas
Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!
funny law people
If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.
funny marriage wedding
Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner. Charles Caleb Colton
funny age fifty
I'm aiming by the time I'm fifty to stop being an adolescent.
thanksgiving thankful gratitude
Reflect upon your present blessings
thanksgiving blessing thankful-to-god
Perhaps it takes a purer faith to praise God for unrealized blessings than for those we once enjoyed or those we enjoy now. Aiden Wilson Tozer
thanksgiving turkeys los-angeles
I love Thanksgiving turkey... It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. Arnold Schwarzenegger
thanksgiving gluttony occasions
Gluttony and surfeiting are no proper occasions for thanksgiving. Charles Lamb
thanksgiving country holiday
Americans are gluttons. We shop with forklifts. We have a holiday where we stuff food into other food. Our strippers wrestle in Jell-O, where other countries have to use mud. Bill Maher
thanksgiving peace years
We have been the recipients of the choicest bounties of Heaven; we have been preserved these many years in peace and prosperity; we have grown in numbers, wealth, and power as no other nation has ever grown. Abraham Lincoln
thanksgiving children light
The difference between God and the Devil, is that God creates and organizes, while the whole study of the Devil is to convince children that light meat tastes good. Brigham Young
thanksgiving real cooking
There are things you do because they feel right and they may make no sense and they may make no money and it may be the real reason we are here: to love each other and to eat each other's cooking and say it was good. Brian Andreas
thanksgiving gratitude strong
This is the holy reasoning of love; it draws no license from grace, but rather feels the strong constraints of gratitude leading it to holiness. Charles Spurgeon
football violent fascists
I don't do football. (Grew up in Leeds in the 1970s. Football there was indellibly associated with the National Front, i.e. violent fascist skinheads.) Charles Stross
football league should
I tried to push him away with my head. I apologise to everyone. I should not have got involved in it. Alan Pardew
football league noise
Shut your noise, you old c***!
football zero games
How on earth can otherwise sensible people get so involved in a football game? You could measure the lasting impact on the lives of the people who played it at just about zero. Alan Page
football successful player
The way to be successful is through preparation. It doesn't just happen. You don't wake up one day and discover you're a lawyer any more than you wake up as a pro football player. It takes time.
football philosophy thinking
I think if Tottenham are going to be top four side, the fans and the club will need to get away from the philosophy of 'pretty football', that's got to go. Alan Hansen
football laughing missing
I don't miss playing football, but I do miss going into the dressing room every day and having a laugh.
football blow watches
Phil Dowd checks his whistle and blows his watch. Alan Green
football playing-football commentators
Ziege hits it high for Heskey who isn't playing