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funny girl humor
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl. Charlie Chaplin
funny jesus humorous
I have no further use for America. I wouldn't go back there if Jesus Christ was President.
funny friendship humor
To help a friend in need is easy, but to give him your time is not always opportune.
funny good-morning laughter
A day without laughter is a day wasted.
funny life courage
Life can be wonderful if you're not afraid of it. All it takes is courage, imagination ... and a little dough
funny science weather
Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. Charles Dudley Warner
funny artist canvas
A great artist can paint a great picture on a small canvas.
funny travel air
I wouldn't mind dying for France, but not for Air France. Charles de Gaulle
funny humor church
Hearing Mass is the ceremony I most favor during my travels. Church is the only place where someone speaks to me and I do not have to answer back.
witty humorous idiot
What do you take me for, an idiot?
witty profound sublime
Shakespeare, Butler and Bacon have rendered it extremely difficult for all who come after them to be sublime, witty or profound. Charles Caleb Colton
witty expression order
Euphonic and harmonious expressions, forcible and just expressions, profound and comprehensive expressions, and especially apt and witty expressions, each have their specific influence upon different minds, and their common influence upon all minds.... It is therefore high time our most valuable aphorisms and paragraphs were put in order for frequent perusal, and for handy reference, as the circumstances of life call up subjects. Charles Simmons
witty memories kids
A long memory is the most subversive idea in America. A tautology is a thing which is tautological. A witty saying proves nothing, but saying something pointless gets people's attention. If your kids look like you, it's hereditory. If they look like the neighbor, it's the environment. Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. Dave Barry
witty stupid party
What I think is that the F-word is basically just a convenient nasty-sounding word that we tend to use when we would really like to come up with a terrific-ally witty insult, the kind Winston Churchill always came up with when enormous women asked him stupid questions at parties.
witty time compelling-reason
You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
witty technology promise
I will vote for the first candidate who promises to use nuclear missiles against LinkedIn.
witty powerful reality
Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.
witty sex teenage
It's very witty and it's great to see teenage characters have control that way. And you can actually hear about sex and pot and it's okay, it's not completely bad and you can't say that to teenagers. Caroline Dhavernas
forgive-me forgiving ready
God is more ready to forgive me than I am ready to offend. Charles Spurgeon
forgive-me forgiving flaunting
Don't bemoan your misspent life quite yet. Forgive me for flaunting my experience, but you have no conception of what a misspent life constitutes. David Mitchell
forgive-me loving-you forgiving
Please forgive me, I know not what I do. Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you. Bryan Adams
forgive-me forgiving afternoon
I dinna know what's a sadist. And if I forgive you for this afternoon, I reckon you'll forgive me, too, as soon as ye can sit down again." "As for my pleasure..." His lip twitched. "I said I would have to punish you. I did not say I wasna going to enjoy it." He crooked a finger at me. "Come here. Diana Gabaldon
forgive-me forgiving moments
Jane, I never meant to wound you thus...Will you ever forgive me?" Reader, I forgave him at the moment and on the spot. Charlotte Bronte
forgive-me forgiving afternoon
So forgive me, love, if I cry in your shower. So forgive me, love, for the salt in your bed. So forgive me, love, if I cry all afternoon.... Alanis Morissette
forgive-me forgiving needs
Lord, forgive me if my need Sometimes shapes a human creed. Countee Cullen
forgive-me forgiving may
I dedicate this to all those who did not live to tell it. And may they please forgive me for not having seen it all nor remembered it all, for not having divined all of it - from The Gulag Archipelago Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
forgive-me forgiving littles
Forgive me if I stare, I knew you were young, but even then I was expecting someone a little more, well, more. Christopher Paolini