Famous Quotes & Sayings

Charles Caleb Colton

Shakespeare, Butler and Bacon have rendered it extremely difficult for all who come after them to be sublime, witty or profound.

Charles Simmons

Euphonic and harmonious expressions, forcible and just expressions, profound and comprehensive expressions, and especially apt and witty expressions, each have their specific influence upon different minds, and their common influence upon all minds.... It is therefore high time our most valuable aphorisms and paragraphs were put in order for frequent perusal, and for handy reference, as the circumstances of life call up subjects.

Dave Barry

A long memory is the most subversive idea in America. A tautology is a thing which is tautological. A witty saying proves nothing, but saying something pointless gets people's attention. If your kids look like you, it's hereditory. If they look like the neighbor, it's the environment. Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

Dave Barry

What I think is that the F-word is basically just a convenient nasty-sounding word that we tend to use when we would really like to come up with a terrific-ally witty insult, the kind Winston Churchill always came up with when enormous women asked him stupid questions at parties.

Dave Barry

You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

Dave Barry

I will vote for the first candidate who promises to use nuclear missiles against LinkedIn.

Dave Barry

Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.

Caroline Dhavernas

It's very witty and it's great to see teenage characters have control that way. And you can actually hear about sex and pot and it's okay, it's not completely bad and you can't say that to teenagers.

Catherine the Great

Your wits make others witty.

Catherine the Great

Your wit makes others witty.

Charles Krauthammer

History is not just cruel. It is witty.

Billy Joel

There's nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex.

Edmond Rostand

A large nose is in fact the sign of an affable man, good, courteous, witty, liberal, courageous, such as I am.

Dian Fossey

When you realize the value of all life, you dwell less on what is past and concentrate more on the preservation of the future.

Denise Mina

There's a real emphasis on being witty in Scotland, even in crime novels.

Ed Helms

As an actor, you can really play the intensity and gravity and seriousness of the moment, and just rely on the circumstances being funny. The joke is kind of the situation you're in, or the way you're reacting to something, as opposed to the characters just saying something witty.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

The devil's most devilish when respectable.

Charles de Gaulle

What do you take me for, an idiot?

Charles M. Schulz

I love mankind; it's people I can't stand.

Charles M. Schulz

You're a good man, Charlie Brown.

Charles M. Schulz

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask why me? Then a voice answers nothing personal, your name just happened to come up.

Charles M. Schulz

Jogging is very beneficial. It's good for your legs and your feet. It's also very good for the ground. If makes it feel needed.

Charles Grodin

I wouldn't even dare read the Torah, let alone attempt a witty observation on the Torah.

Bipasha Basu

My philosophy towards life is to enjoy it to the fullest and have fun. I am one of those 'laugh-out-loud' kinds. I am quirky, yet witty.

Bill Watterson

Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'll be devastated THEN

Edna Ferber

writers of novels are so busy being solitary that they haven't time to meet one another. But then, a writer learns nothing from a writer, conversationally. If a writer has anything witty, profound or quotable to say he doesn't say it. He's no fool. He writes it.

Benjamin Franklin

There's many witty men whose brains can't fill their bellies.

Arthur Eddington

I don't believe any experiment until it is confirmed by theory. I find this is a witty inversion of "conventional" wisdom.

Baltasar Gracian

Many get the repute of being witty but thereby lose the credit of being sensible. Jest has its little hour, seriousness should have all the rest.

Diana Vreeland

A funny person is funny only for so long, but a wit can sit down and go on being spellbinding forever. One is not meant to laugh. One stays quiet and marvels. Spontaneously witty talk is without question the most fascinating entertainment there is.

William Shakespeare

The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.

William Shakespeare

If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere well. It were done quickly.

Ricky Gervais

Most people sitting at home aren't cool, successful, witty Hollywood stars, but they all worry about what people think of them when they faux pas.