Famous Quotes & Sayings

Douglas Adams

Imagine a puddle waking up one morning and thinking, " This is an interesting world I find myself in, an interesting hole I find myself in; fits me rather neatly, doesn't it? In fact it fits me staggeringly well! It must have been made to have me in it!

Clive James

It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are.

Dylan Moran

The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty

e. e. cummings

I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.

Dustin Hoffman

The two basic items necessary to sustain life are sunshine and coconut milk.

Douglas Coupland

I tried to think of a witty play on Every picture tells a thousand words, but then the whole word/picture thing collapsed on me.

Chuck Klosterman

The mass media causes sexual misdirection: It prompts us to need something deeper than what we want. This is why Woody Allen has made nebbish guys cool; he makes people assume there is something profound about having a relationship based on witty conversation and intellectual discourse. There isn't. It's just another gimmick, and it's no different than wanting to be with someone because they're thin or rich or the former lead singer of Whiskeytown.

Christopher Morley

Blessed is the satirist; and blessed the ironist; blessed the witty scoffer, and blessed the sentimentalist; for each, having seen one spoke of the wheel, thinks to have seen all, and is content.

Angelina Jolie

And they're [Coen brothers] so smart, they're so witty, they have such an extraordinary way of communicating with an audience in a such a clean way - with just a few lines or just a gesture from a character, they say so much.

Andre Maurois

To be witty is not enough. One must possess sufficient wit to avoid having too much of it.

Alice Roosevelt Longworth

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

Anne Lamott

My main problem is that over and over again, I try to get all my characters to say stuff that I think is so witty or erudite you know, so that everybody will go.

Aesop

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.

Dorothy Richardson

Women who are not living ought to spend all their time cracking jokes. In a rotten society women grow witty; making a heaven while they wait.

Donald Barthelme

HENRY: Now it is necessary to court her, and win her, and put on this clean dressing gown, and cut my various nails, and drink something that will kill the millions of germs in my mouth, and say something flattering, and be witty and bonny, and hale and kinky, all just to ease this wrinkle in the groin. It seems a high price.

Douglas William Jerrold

Women, somehow, have the same fear of witty men as of fireworks.

Don Marquis

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

Dinah Shore

I earn and pay my own way as a great many women do today. Why should unmarried women be discriminated against - unmarried men are not.

Dan Quayle

I stand by all the misstatements that I've made

Dan Quayle

The global importance of the Middle East is that it keeps the Far East and the Near East from encroaching on each other.

Dan Quayle

One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice-president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.

Cyrano de Bergerac

A large nose is the mark of a witty, courteous, affable, generous and liberal man.

Danai Gurira

Zimbabweans are so smart and witty and able to weave together tons of situations and experiences into terminologies that are just utterly original.

David Karp

Today there are millions of people making stuff and putting it into the world: that's become part of our identity and it shouldn't be limited to people who fancy themselves writers, or who are particularly witty or talented.

Ciaran Hinds

I've worked a lot with Noah Baumbach, and he doesn't make it easy to like his characters, but the stories are funny and witty and there's an edge to that kind of humanity.

Anthony Burgess

Elgar is not manic enough to be Russian, not witty or pointilliste enough to be French, not harmonically simple enough to be Italian and not stodgy enough to be German. We arrive at his Englishry by pure elimination.

Andy Rooney

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

Richard M. Nixon

I would have made a good pope.

William Shakespeare

I am not only witty in myself, but the cause that wit is in other men.

Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Trying to be witty leads to lying, more or less.

Becca Fitzpatrick

He grinned. “Busted. I’m a monster. Jev is my deceptively harmless — and shockingly handsome — alter ego.” “And I’m on top of it,” she announced with witty triumph. “Is that a Freudian slip?” His bluntness caught her off guard. A self-conscious blush rose in her face.

Antoine Rivarol

Generally speaking, there is more wit than talent in the world. Society swarms with witty people who lack talent.

Bill Bryson

I often feel I'm a disappointment to people because they expect me to be the guy in the books. When I sit next to someone at a dinner party I can see they expect me to be quick and witty, and I'm not at all.