Famous Quotes & Sayings

Charles M. Schulz

Jogging is very beneficial. It's good for your legs and your feet. It's also very good for the ground. If makes it feel needed.

Charles Grodin

I wouldn't even dare read the Torah, let alone attempt a witty observation on the Torah.

Bipasha Basu

My philosophy towards life is to enjoy it to the fullest and have fun. I am one of those 'laugh-out-loud' kinds. I am quirky, yet witty.

Bill Watterson

Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'll be devastated THEN

Bob Hope

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

Bjarne Stroustrup

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.

Chauncey Depew

A witty illustration or an apt story will accomplish more than columns of argument.

Charles Krauthammer

History is not just cruel. It is witty.

William Shakespeare

The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.

Douglas William Jerrold

Women, somehow, have the same fear of witty men as of fireworks.

Don Marquis

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

Indira Gandhi

Would you consider a man or a woman to be complicated? Is it that difficult to understand both the sexes? We say that we know what the other sex is all about, but is that really true? Perhaps the following witty, funny quotes and sayings can help simplify things down about men.

J. Edgar Hoover

I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.

Joseph Joubert

There are some men who are witty when they are in a bad humor, and others only when they are sad.

Glenn Close

Just play the moment, that's the fun of it. You just play the moment. It's great writing and very clever writing, I think it's witty. And I have those great clothes. You have a great, witty, intelligent script and you look like a million dollars, because we have a great costumer, and it's a pretty good place to begin.

Georgette Heyer

Spread the glad tidings that it will not disappoint Miss Heyer's many admirers. Judging from the letters I've received from obviously feeble-minded persons who do so wish I would write another These Old Shades, it ought to sell like hot cakes. I think myself I ought to be shot for writing such nonsense, but it's questionably good escapist literature and I think I should rather like it if I were sitting in an air-raid shelter, or recovering from flu. Its period detail is good; my husband says it's witty---and without going to these lengths, I will say that it is very good fun.

Henry David Thoreau

Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.

Henry David Thoreau

How often, when we have been nearest each other bodily, have we really been farthest off! Our tongues were the witty foils with which we fenced each other off.

H. L. Mencken

Criticism is prejudice made plausible.

Jerry Seinfeld

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.

Jerry Seinfeld

Responsible, who wants to be responsible? Whenever something bad happens, it's always, who's responsible for this?

Jim Gaffigan

It's so obvious The Weather Channel is pro hurricane. Fair and balanced my ass.

Christopher Hitchens

Never ask while you are doing it if what you are doing is fun. Don't introduce even your most reliably witty acquaintance as someone who will set the table on a roar.

Franklin P. Adams

When the political columnists say 'Every thinking man' they mean themselves, and when candidates appeal to 'Every intelligent voter' they mean everybody who is going to vote for them

Jelly Roll Morton

My contributions were many: First clown director, with witty sayings and flashily dressed, now called master of ceremonies.

Jean-Paul Sartre

Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.

George S. Patton

A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.

Esha Gupta

I like my man to be witty; he needs a sense of humour and needs to be extremely well-mannered.

Ernest Hemingway

I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.

Jhonen Vasquez

Witty closing remarks have been replaced by massive head trauma and severe hemorrhaging.

Hannah Arendt

To speak of the impotence of power is no longer a witty paradox.

Gore Vidal

I'm all for bringing back the birch, but only between consenting adults.

Gore Vidal

I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.