Famous Quotes & Sayings

Simon Cowell

He was one of those hah-hah funny sort of auditions. The guy had people rolling around in hysterics all day and I'm like what's the point? This is a joke. So I just said no.

Buddy Bell

He was running funny, but Mike has kind of a funny gait anyway. We don't think it's serious.

Mark Valley

I think it's one of those funny things - sometimes you're not really friends with somebody until you've gotten into a good fight, and I think that's the situation with Superman and Batman.

It is obviously funny and engaging, but it needs to track into educational lessons, too.

Derek Jeter

He needed an oxygen tank there. It was kind of funny to watch.

Bobby Cox

He could hit a little and throw a little. He was always funny, a guy you wanted to have on your team.

He can say things that are funny but they don't know because they can't understand it. Sometimes I'm laughing even if no one else is.

He just had a real funny way about him. He always looked at things in a positive way.

He is that guy in the movie. He is that funny guy who can get in your grill, and be funny about it. He's a lot more interesting in person than you usually see on the screen.

Trevor Noah

Most of my show is true; like, 90% of everything I say on stage is true. I just have to find the way to make it funny - that's the difficult thing.

Taylor Hawkins

Life is funny. If you don't laugh, you're in trouble.

Stephen Colbert

The only thing that I don't like is my kids watching comedy that isn't actually funny. There's a lot of supposed tween comedy on TV that isn't particularly funny, but it's got a lot of laugh track. And I go, 'Please don't watch that. Please just watch something that's actually funny.'

Shaquille O'Neal

Every time I do something silly, it comes off really funny because it's natural.

Sophie Wu

When you are 15, everything is such high stakes, even tiny things. I think because of that, it is funny but sad at the same time.

Dan Castellaneta

It's the cushiest job, but some lines are so funny that I crack up.

Sarah Silverman

I say 'I'm sorry.' It usually disarms them.

Drew Bledsoe

I said, 'Yes, sir,' 'No, sir' and did what I was supposed to do. He's a funny guy, but he's only funny if he's not talking to you because he's pretty hard on guys. When I was young, I got tired of all the noise from Bill. As you get older, you realize some of the things he taught me when I was young that have gone on to help me in my career.

David Harris

People are funny; how do we get that on screen? For one thing, awkwardness.

Larry David

People have often wondered how they'd feel if they were adopted. I think it's funny.

Katharine McPhee

I'm so unprofessional on set it's not even funny.

Susan Stroman

Mel has written 10 new songs, and they're very funny. It's a year and a half away from opening on Broadway.

Billy Corgan

The funny thing about me that most people never really understand is that, at heart, I'm really a jock.

Bill Shankly

A football team is like a piano. You need eight men to carry it and three who can play the damn thing.

Bill Engvall

He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like "there's a golf shot. That's a golf shot." Well of course it's a golf shot; I just hit a golf ball. You don't see Gretzky skating around going "there's a hockey shot, that's a hockey shot."

Bill Engvall

My son is 12 now, and is really getting into girls. A lot. But the thing about twelve year old boys is that they don't possess what I like to call that ... discretionary gene yet. We were walking home from the ballfield the other day and there was a woman walking towards us who was ... gifted. I saw them, and I saw him see them. But she was too close for me to go, "Dude, shut up." She hadn't walked two feet behind us and he goes "God dang, did you see the SIZE of those things?" And all I could say was "Yeah, I did!"

Bill Engvall

No parents. You have Uncle Jesse, forever in overalls. Then there's Bo and Duke. What do they do? I never saw them working for food or gas money. You can only kill so many possum.

Bill Engvall

I thought "RV" stood for "Recreational Vehicle." No! It stands for "Ruins Vacations."

Bill Engvall

You could take Vicodin, step out of the house, onto a freeway, have a truck hit you, and you'd say "My Bad!".

Bill Engvall

Welcome to my garage! This is where I go to get away from the honey-do list.

Bill Engvall

I hit two trees and fell down a ditch. And that was just walking from the lodge.

Bill Engvall

That's why they're man's best friend. 'Cause guys want buddies that are dumber than they are. So do women, but they've already got men

Bill Engvall

I go "I just want a cup of black coffee." She goes "Do you want to try a biscotti? They're from Italy and they're considered a delicacy." Have you ever eaten one of these things? It tastes like a burned cookie. Where I'm from, that's considered a mistake.