Related Quotes
funny humorous mind
I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it. Charles Dickens
funny morning self
All knives and forks were working away at a rate that was quite alarming; very few words were spoken; and everybody seemed to eat his utmost, in self defence, as if a famine were expected to set in before breakfast-time to-morrow morning, and it had become high time to assert the first law of nature. Charles Dickens
funny death witty
He would make a lovely corpse. Charles Dickens
funny kings humorous
It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions. Charles Dickens
funny people literature
Although a skillful flatterer is a most delightful companion if you have him all to yourself, his taste becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people. Charles Dickens
funny christmas xmas
Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home! Charles Dickens
funny law people
If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers. Charles Dickens
funny marriage wedding
Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner. Charles Caleb Colton
funny age fifty
I'm aiming by the time I'm fifty to stop being an adolescent. Charles Caleb Colton
snakes games ladders
Life feels like a game of Snakes and Ladders, but without any ladders. David Moody
snakes oil people
In the middle ages, people took potions for their ailments. In the 19th century they took snake oil. Citizens of today's shiny, technological age are too modern for that. They take antioxidants and extract of cactus instead. Charles Krauthammer
snakes feelings watches
I have a curious and apprehensive feeling as I watch JFK that he is sort of an Indian snake charmer. Dean Acheson
snakes broken cameras
I've fallen down crevasses, been bitten by snakes, been knocked unconscious, had various limbs broken and once, a heavy camera came plunging down which very nearly decapitated me. Bear Grylls
snakes favors providence
But I'm in favor of every religion with the possible exception of snake-chunking. Anybody that so presumes on how he stands with Providence that he will let a snake bite him, I say he deserves what he's got coming to him. Earl Long
snakes spaghetti
I wanna see a snake eat spaghetti. Demetri Martin
snakes long cards
Credit cards are like snakes: Handle 'em long enough, and one will bite you. Elizabeth Warren
snakes long mowing
It's even occurred to me, as a teeny little subversive whisper of a thought, that if we stop mowing the lawn right now, it will probably be a long, long time before the yard gets overrun by lions and snakes. Barbara Ehrenreich
snakes circles cost
The less sophisticated of my forbears avoided foreigners at all costs, for the very good reason that, in their circles, speaking in tongues was commonly a prelude to snake handling. The more tolerant among us regarded foreign languages as a kind of speech impediment that could be overcome by willpower. Barbara Ehrenreich
saws toilets scream
If you stepped out of the shower and saw a leprechaun standing at the base of your toilet, would you scream, or would you innately understand that he meant you no harm? David Sedaris
saws necks deer
I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer Bo Burnham
saws fans looks
Fans always ask, What did the bedroom look like? All they ever saw was Alice or Ralph going in and out. Audrey Meadows
saws washington-monument catastrophe
Saw Washington Monument. Phallic. Appalling. A national catastrophe. Arnold Bennett
saws holes prove-it
You do angry. I just saw it. And you left at least one hole in my carpet to prove it. Deborah Harkness
saws firsts actors
I wanted to be an actor. I decided when I was very young, when I first saw movies, that I wanted to be an actor. Dennis Hopper
saws want shoulders
If you walk up to some random person on the street, grab them by the shoulder, and say 'Did you just see what I saw?!', you'll find that no-one wants to talk to you. Bill Murray
saws advantage
There were very few women comics when I started out doing stand-up. But I always saw that as a great advantage. Carol Leifer
saws republican activist
I was a Republican, and I saw the activists and what they were doing; it was intolerable to me. Charlie Crist