Famous Quotes & Sayings

Robbie Coltrane

My son's the same, he's terribly funny. It's a wonderful power to have. It's also fantastically disarming. Women find it unbelievably disarming. You can say the most astonishing things if you're funny. You can tell a woman that she's irresistibly attractive, but do it in such a funny way.

Rodney Dangerfield

My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him .... If you don't mind I'd like a second opinion. He said .... Alright.... you're ugly too!

Cy Twombly

My parents were from New England. It's very funny, but when I grew up, you always had to say, 'Yes, ma'am' and 'Yes, sir.'

Alice Duer Miller

When a woman like that whom I've seen so much, All of a sudden drops out of touch; Is always busy and never can, Spare you a moment, it means a man.

Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.

Anne Lamott

I love readings and my readers, but the din of voices of the audience gives me stage fright, and the din of voices inside whisper that I am a fraud, and that the jig is up. Surely someone will rise up from the audience and say out loud that not only am I not funny and helpful, but I'm annoying, and a phony.

Albert Camus

It's a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think they can be happy without money.

Albert Camus

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.

Annie Leibovitz

No one ever thought Clint Eastwood was funny, but he was.

Clay Shirky

So forget about blogs and bloggers and blogging and focus on this - the cost and difficulty of publishing absolutely anything, by anyone, into a global medium, just got a whole lot lower. And the effects of that increased pool of potential producers is going to be vast.

Daniel J. Boorstin

Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know.

Cullen Hightower

Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it.

Clifton Fadiman

A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke-and that the joke is oneself.

Clifton Fadiman

Muhammad Ali: Superman Don't need no seat belt. Flight Attendant: Superman Don't need no airplane, either.

Clifton Fadiman

For most men, life is a search for the proper Manila envelope in which to get themselves filed.

Clint Eastwood

This film cost $31 million. With that kind of money I could have invaded some country.

Clint Eastwood

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

Clint Eastwood

I have a very strict gun control policy: if there's a gun around, I want to be in control of it.

Clarence Darrow

Everybody is a potential murderer. I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.

Clarence Darrow

Hoover, if elected, will do one thing that is almost incomprehensible to the human mind: he will make a great man out of Coolidge.

Clarence Darrow

I am a friend of the working man, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.

Clarence Darrow

Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?

Clarence Darrow

I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure - that is all that agnosticism means.

Clarence Darrow

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.

Kevin Whately

Oxford is a funny place, as it is a mixture of town and gown. You have the students at the main university and at Oxford Brookes, but there is also a big working-class community.

Alexander Pope

They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake.

Alex Haley

Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help.

E. M. Forster

Beauty ought to look a little surprised: it is the emotion that best suits her face. The beauty who does not look surprised, who accepts her position as her due - she reminds us too much of a prima donna.

Drew Carey

TV is easier: it's all planned out for you, and the audience is there to see a show and they are all pumped up, but when you are in a comedy club, you have to be really funny to win them over. To me, that's more pure.

Drew Carey

Nothing's funny about someone who's successful.

Drew Carey

I was raised by just my mom. See, my father died when I was eight years old. At least, that's what he told us in the letter..

Drew Carey

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

Drew Barrymore

The people I grew up around who I really liked were quick on the draw. It always just wowed me. And my mum would make weird funny comments. I can see in myself her self-deprecating, hippie humour. I can't take myself too seriously.