Famous Quotes & Sayings

Robert Pattinson

I hate people who cry around me. I'm not friends with them anymore. Especially girls. Cuz girls are crying all the time. It's like, 'Shut up.'

Robert Pattinson

Sometimes I think I look like I've had facial reconstructive surgery. Like after burns.

Robert Pattinson

What's it like kissing Taylor Lautner.

Robert Pattinson

I look a bit like him.

Robert Pattinson

The special effects team designed everything, which basically allowed me to stand on a green box and look and stay relatively expressionless and all these machines did the acting for me. Just the way I like it (laughs)

Robert Pattinson

I actually think being involved in the cesarean would be... I just can't wait!

Robert Pattinson

Never trust a guy who plucks his eyebrows.

Robert Pattinson

I had pecs for about two days. Everyone would hate me. Just look at me walking around with my little peacoat on. My little customized pea coat.

Robert Pattinson

Umm thanks for the phone. I think I already broke it...

Robert M. Pirsig

When a shepherd goes to kill a wolf, and takes his dog to see the sport, he should take care to avoid mistakes. The dog has certain relationships to the wolf the shepherd may have forgotten.

Robert Louis Stevenson

If we take matrimony at it's lowest, we regard it as a sort of friendship recognised by the police.

Robert Louis Stevenson

There is only one difference between a long life and a good dinner: that, in the dinner, the sweets come last.

Robert Louis Stevenson

Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary.

Walt Disney

You can't just let nature run wild.

Walt Whitman

I find no sweeter fat than sticks to my own bones.

Tom Neff

I'm a Leo. Leos don't believe in this astrology stuff.

Tom Hayden

His herding instinct is so strong that he confuses tractors on a baseball field for sheep. He was hospitalized twice. Once by a line drive and once for attacking a tractor tread.

Tom Hanks

At the end of the day it's got to be a good movie, it's got to be a funny movie, and it's got to make people think, 'Hey, I couldn't have spent my time any better.'

Tom Brokaw

There is no delete button for bigotry.

Tom Clancy

A lawyer is just like an attack dog, only without a conscience.

Todd Barry

I would call it a comedy variety show. We have some people just doing straight standup. We usually try to have one musical act of sort. So its just people being funny in different ways, not just sketch, not just standup, not just characters, all of those things.

Tina Fey

It's a great lesson about not being too precious about your writing. You have to try your hardest to be at the top of your game and improve every joke you can until the last possible second, and then you have to let it go. You can't be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it...You have to let people see what you wrote.

Tina Fey

I was the editor of the school newspaper and in drama club and choir, so I was not a popular girl in the traditional sense, but I think I was known for being relatively scathing.

Tina Fey

At the request of the Catholic Church, a three-day sex orgy to be held near Rio de Janeiro was cancelled last Friday. So instead I spent the weekend cleaning my apartment.

Tina Fey

Amy Poehler and I have been friends for so long, we're like Oprah and Gale. Only we're not denying anything.

Tina Fey

"I can't believe you recently had a baby. How do you do it?" The baby starts to come down...and once that happens you can't-it comes out. Whether you let it or not, the baby comes out. So that's how I did it.

Tina Fey

If these two are tired of having sex with each other, what hope is there for the rest of us?

Tina Fey

It was reported that the New York Knicks have won all 12 of the home games attended by magician David Blaine. A spokesman for the Knicks said, 'if this is what it takes to win, it's not worth it.'

Tina Fey

It was reported that Guy Ritchie has cast his wife Madonna in a small walk-on role in his new movie, Revolver. Madonna will play the part of the woman who ruins the film.

Tina Fey

The Washington State Supreme Court on Thursday announced a two year suspension for a lawyer caught having jailhouse sex with a triple murder defendant she was representing. Haha! Jokes on you, dummies... I'm not really a lawyer.

Tina Fey

A recent study announced that 52 per cent of all teens who sign virginity pledges recant them within twelve months. If I'm on my game.

Tina Fey

In an interview, Paris Hilton said that of her and her sister, "People love to hate us. But when you know us, you love us. And if you really get to know us, you get gonorrhea."

Tina Fey

Wafah Dufour bin Laden, niece of Osama bin Laden has signed a contract to star in a reality show... called Skating with the Nieces of Terrorists.