Famous Quotes & Sayings

Ronald Reagan

Growing and decaying vegetation in this land are responsible for 93 percent of the oxides of nitrogen.

Romain Rolland

I know at last what distinguishes man from animals; financial worries.

Sam Kinison

What happened? Satan was busy?

Sam Kinison

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows.

Sam Levenson

Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don't compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest.

Sam Levenson

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

Sam Levenson

The whole world is watching America, and America is watching TV.

Sam Levenson

Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.

Sally Phillips

I have a lot of funny friends, though not everyone's funny all the time. Doon Mackichan's my funniest friend in the pub; Nina Conti's the funniest with a monkey.

Rosalind Russell

Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death.

Ron Richards

My grandfather's a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice. One day, he took me aside and left me there.

Susan Beth Pfeffer

Here's the funny thing about the world coming to an end. Once it gets going, it doesn't seem to stop.

Thomas A. Edison

I find my greatest pleasure, and so my reward, in the work that precedes what the world calls success.

Thomas A. Edison

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

Sid Caesar

The trouble with telling a good story is that it invariably reminds the other fellow of a dull one.

Sid Caesar

The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius.

Sid Vicious

You're only half the man that I am, and I have half the brain that you do.

Shel Silverstein

I know a way to stay friends forever, There's really nothing to it, I tell you what to do, And you do it.

Shel Silverstein

G'bye, I'm going out to play!

Sharon Osbourne

There's the perception Danni Minogue is the sweetest little thing in the world but she's not... she's got balls of steel.

Tallulah Bankhead

It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.

Tallulah Bankhead

I've tried several varieties of sex. The conventional position makes me claustrophobic, and the others either give me a stiff neck or lockjaw.

Tallulah Bankhead

Fill what is empty, empty what is full, and scratch where it itches.

Tallulah Bankhead

I'd rather be strongly wrong than weakly right.

Tallulah Bankhead

Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.

Tallulah Bankhead

If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.

Tallulah Bankhead

Only good girls keep diaries. Bad girls don't have time.

Tony Scott

A lot of actors talk about doing their homework, but very few of them do it.

Tony Bennett

Every city I go to is an opportunity to paint, whether it's Omaha or Hawaii.

Tony Benn

I am on the right wing of the middle of the road and with a strong radical bias.

Tom Petty

It's funny how the music industry is enraged about the Internet and the way things are copied without being paid for. But you know why people steal the music? Because they can't afford the music.

Simone de Beauvoir

To catch a husband is an art; to hold him is a job.

Simon Schama

Landscapes are culture before they are nature; constructs of the imagination projected onto wood and water and rock. It is... difficult to think of a single natural system that has not, for better or worse, been substantially modified by human culture. The cultural habits of humanity have always made room for the sacredness of nature.