Related Quotes
funny humorous mind
I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it. Charles Dickens
funny morning self
All knives and forks were working away at a rate that was quite alarming; very few words were spoken; and everybody seemed to eat his utmost, in self defence, as if a famine were expected to set in before breakfast-time to-morrow morning, and it had become high time to assert the first law of nature.
funny death witty
He would make a lovely corpse.
funny kings humorous
It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions.
funny people literature
Although a skillful flatterer is a most delightful companion if you have him all to yourself, his taste becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people.
funny christmas xmas
Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!
funny law people
If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.
funny marriage wedding
Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner. Charles Caleb Colton
funny age fifty
I'm aiming by the time I'm fifty to stop being an adolescent.
beer two glasses
"What is your best, your very best, ale a glass?" "Two pence halfpenny," says the landlord, "is the price of the Genuine Stunning Ale." "Then," says I, producing the money, "just draw me a glass of the Genuine Stunning, if you please, with a good head on it."
beer years names
Oh Beer! Oh Hodgson, Guinness, Allsop, Bass! Names that should be on every infant's tongue! Shall days and months and years and centuries pass, And still your merits be unrecked, unsung? Charles Stuart Calverley
beer drunk able
And it occurs to me that if I were aboard a rowboat floating in the middle of all the beer I've drunk in a lifetime, I'd never be able to see the shore. Al Purdy
beer wells know-me
If somebody attacks me with words, I'm always like, Do you know me? Do you know me that well? Let's have a beer and talk about it. Chris Bosh
beer thinking auschwitz
I'd tried to straighten him out, but there's only so much you can do for a person who thinks Auschwitz is a brand of beer. David Sedaris
beer people kind
I did one of the worst shows for that kind of thing in Northampton, Massachusetts, which is one of the most liberal spots on the planet. There were numerous people who walked out, somebody had thrown a beer, I had people yelling and screaming. David Cross
beer sailing want
Fortunately the boat we rented had a motor in it You will definitely want this feature on your sailboat too, because if you put up the sails, the boat tips way over, and you could spill your beer. Dave Barry
beer four havens
Your guess is as good as mine. Better probably, because you haven't had four beers.
beer letters embrace
The letters in 'Brace Beemer' can be arranged to spell 'Embrace Beer.'
asks desires head heavens logician poet seeks
The poet only desires exaltation and expansion. The poet only asks to get his head into the heavens. It is the logician who seeks to get the heavens into his head -- and it is his head that splits. K. Chesterton
asks best client friend help
When your friend and best client asks you to help his friend, you do it.
asks charged court everyday girlfriend human lies life love nature reasons sweater tempted wearing white
Little white lies are part of everyday life. If you're in court being charged with a felony, you're probably going to be tempted to lie. Or if your girlfriend asks you if the sweater she is wearing makes her look fat; you're going to lie because you love that person. There are different reasons and justifications to lie; it's human nature. Monica Raymund
asks conversation tv whenever whether yes
Whenever anyone asks me if I'm from a TV show, I say yes - no matter whether I've ever been on it. It just makes the conversation that much easier. Michael Ian Black
asks everybody god
Everybody has some sorrow, worry, and everybody asks God for help. Karolyn Grimes
asks brand buy christmas exact model numbers prepared sells store type
Always be prepared if someone asks you what you want for Christmas. Give brand names, the store that sells the merchandise, and, if possible, exact model numbers so they can't go wrong. Be the type who's impossible to buy for, so they have to get what you want. John Waters
asks favor involving somebody verify
When somebody asks for a favor involving information, if you don't know him or can't verify his identity, just say no. Kevin Mitnick
asks bogged business computing simply
If someone asks me what cloud computing is, I try not to get bogged down with definitions. I tell them that, simply put, cloud computing is a better way to run your business. Marc Benioff
asks becoming famous good inspiring work
Everyone always asks me, 'Do you want to be famous... ' I never really thought about becoming famous. I just want to work, to be able to put out inspiring and good film and TV.