Famous Quotes & Sayings

Jim Davidson

On quiet nights, when I'm alone, I like to run our wedding video backwards, just to watch myself walk out of the church a free man.

Jim Davis

If you are patient...and wait long enough...Nothing will happen

Jim Davis

When all else fails, look cute.

Jim Davis

Life is like a Ferrari, it goes too fast. But that's ok, because you can't afford it anyway.

Jim Davis

Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.

Jessamyn West

A good time for laughing is when you can.

Jeremy Northam

The space and light up there in Norfolk is wonderfully peaceful. I find myself doing funny things like gardening, and cooking, which I rarely do in London.

Jeremy Paxman

The early bird may get the worm, but its the second mouse that gets the cheese.

Jenny McCarthy

I guess now that I think back, I used to play priest and be a funny priest. I don't know, I grew up in such a Catholic family that I kind of liked to test the boundaries a little bit and I think I had fun watching my mom laugh.

Glen Hansard

You know, albums are a funny thing. They're not like an intellectual decision. It's a collection of your kind of musings. Like it's a collection of your diary entries and you pick which one's gonna make the most sense together and you put out a record and you sort of live it.

Glenn Close

Celebrity is death - celebrity - that's the worst thing that can happen to an actor.

Gilda Radner

I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they're the first to be rescued off sinking ships.

Gilbert K. Chesterton

I always like a dog so long as he isn't spelled backward.

Gilbert K. Chesterton

It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down. Why do we laugh? Because it is a gravely religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified.

Gilbert K. Chesterton

Some men never feel small, but these are the few men who are.

Gilbert K. Chesterton

There is nothing the matter with Americans except their ideals. The real American is all right; it is the ideal American who is all wrong.

Harry Vardon

Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.

Ali Farahnakian

Teaching someone to be funny is like teaching someone to be fast. They're already fast. You're just making them faster.

Sometimes students find it funny when it happens to someone else.

Maisie Williams

Sometimes people think they know you and they go, 'Hey!' and then they realize that they've just seen you on the television. That's kind of funny sometimes.

Jenny Lewis

Sometimes people come to my shows and think I'm a Christian artist, and they put their hands up in the air, like they do. But first of all, I'm a Jewish girl from the Valley, and I'm from Los Angeles. It's funny to be misinterpreted.

Paul Harvey

If you found yourself in a situation where you could either save a drowning man, or you could take a Pulitzer prize winning photograph of him drowning, what shutter speed and setting would you use?

Paul Harvey

If 'pro' is the opposite of 'con' what is the opposite of 'progress'?

Paul Goodman

Few great men would have got past personnel.

Patty Murray

This is a long-delayed, hard-won, and badly needed victory for millions of women.

Paul Auster

In my life, I've lived in very different kinds of places - very tiny rooms when I was young. And you do learn to cope with it. The funny thing is, as you begin to inhabit larger places, it's very interesting how quickly you adapt to your space. What seems enormous at first becomes natural after a few weeks.

Julia Roberts

It's funny when people say, 'I don't think Julia likes me.' Honey, if I don't like you, you're going to know about it.

Julia Roberts

Light and funny has a more compelling quality when you're younger. But I haven't abandoned the genre: I love falling down; I love Lucille Ball. It's just that a lot of those stories revolve around problems that I can't convincingly portray at this age.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt

As soon as you are trying to be funny or dramatic, that's when things start feeling fake and boring.

Lita Ford

I like to travel. I love touring, I love playing.

Leonardo DiCaprio

I got attention by being funny at school, pretending to be retarded, and jumping around with a deformed hand.

Oscar Wilde

We have really everything in common with America nowadays, except, of course, language.

Oscar Wilde

I quite agree with Dr. Nordau's assertion that all men of genius are insane, but Dr. Nordau forgets that all sane people are idiots.