Famous Quotes & Sayings

Larry David

People have often wondered how they'd feel if they were adopted. I think it's funny.

Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words mank and ind. What do these words mean? It's a mystery and that's why so is mankind.

Susan Stroman

Mel has written 10 new songs, and they're very funny. It's a year and a half away from opening on Broadway.

Billy Corgan

The funny thing about me that most people never really understand is that, at heart, I'm really a jock.

Bill Shankly

A football team is like a piano. You need eight men to carry it and three who can play the damn thing.

Bill Engvall

He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like "there's a golf shot. That's a golf shot." Well of course it's a golf shot; I just hit a golf ball. You don't see Gretzky skating around going "there's a hockey shot, that's a hockey shot."

Bill Engvall

My son is 12 now, and is really getting into girls. A lot. But the thing about twelve year old boys is that they don't possess what I like to call that ... discretionary gene yet. We were walking home from the ballfield the other day and there was a woman walking towards us who was ... gifted. I saw them, and I saw him see them. But she was too close for me to go, "Dude, shut up." She hadn't walked two feet behind us and he goes "God dang, did you see the SIZE of those things?" And all I could say was "Yeah, I did!"

Bill Engvall

No parents. You have Uncle Jesse, forever in overalls. Then there's Bo and Duke. What do they do? I never saw them working for food or gas money. You can only kill so many possum.

Bill Engvall

I thought "RV" stood for "Recreational Vehicle." No! It stands for "Ruins Vacations."

Barry Ritholtz

Returnless risk is not how you prepare for a decent retirement.

Randy Hendricks

It is a five-horse race, with retirement in the lead.

Scott Harrison

He doesn't seem very confident, talking about what he is doing after his retirement,

John Hotz

Obviously, diversification is key, particularly when it's your only source of retirement income.

Edward Heath

Do you know what Margaret Thatcher did in her first Budget? Introduced VAT on yachts! It somewhat ruined my retirement

Brett Favre

I don't need to have a retirement, retire your jersey, all that stuff to solidify my career.

Dick Van Dyke

I found out retirement means playing golf, or I don't know what the hell it means. But to me, retirement means doing what you have fun doing.

Dick Van Dyke

I'm really in retirement. My career is over. I'm just playing now and having a great time. I like to keep busy, and I'm doing what's fun for me.

Dick Van Dyke

I'm always announcing my retirement. I'm still not retired.

David Pillsbury

Our objective is to (essentially) take a 20-acre piece of Gore-Tex and put it over this golf course.

Billy Mayfair

People kid Phil, but he's one of the most intelligent persons I've ever been around. He's always thinking ahead. He's a smart man. He's really worked his butt off to learn this golf course.

Debbie Moore

Our strength lies in our Southern hospitality, ... You can play golf here year-round, weather permitting.

Cindy Love

Remember, there are so many golf tournaments that they tend to get watered down,

Bill Cosby

Ours is a youth culture, and like a golf tournament, we honor only low scores.

Bert Blyleven

I'm from Southern California, so I feel much more comfortable with a golf club in my hand than I do a weapon.

Cathy Rigby

Actually, performing is a lot like golf. You are alone, so vulnerable.

Bill Bryson

After years of patient study (and with cricket there can be no other kind), I have decided that there is nothing wrong with the game that the introduction of golf carts wouldn't fix in a hurry.

Rod Pampling

I was a little down for making bogey, and suddenly I'm tied. It's sad to see. But it's golf.