Famous Quotes & Sayings

Dave Barry

As you know, birds do not have sexual organs because they would interfere with flight.

Dave Barry

When the boomers started to have kids reach adolescence, there was suddenly this feeling that they needed to protect their kids from all the same things they did when they were kids. Which I guess is a natural tendency, but it makes for a less fun society.

Dave Barry

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

Dave Barry

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

Dave Barry

Every year I write a tax advice column and I used to always make fun of that. One year, one of my favorite IRS commissioners, I think his name was Roscoe somebody, wrote that one of the most often-asked questions by taxpayers was, "How can I contribute more?" Well, I tell ya, ol' Roscoe's really been doing situps under parked cars again. I've heard a lot of people ask a lot of questions about taxes, but I never heard anybody say, "How can I, the ordinary person, send more money for no reason?"

Dave Barry

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it.

Dave Barry

The major advantage of domestic travel is that, with a few exceptions such as Miami, most domestic locations are conveniently situated right here in the United States.

Dave Barry

Another well-known Paris landmark is the Arc de Triomphe, a moving monument to the many brave women and men who have died trying to visit it.

Dave Barry

What women want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What men want: Tickets to the World Series.

Dave Barry

But that's kind of an easy stance to be if you're a humor columnist, because you're tending to make fun of the government and the powerful. I'm sort of a soft-core libertarian in that my compass is generally pointing away from 'Let's let the government do this' Does it matter to me that it's Democrats who think we need more elaborate programs that involve shifting money from one group to another group or it's Republicans saying we need to take a harder look at what kinds of things people are watching on cable TV? Neither one of those things strikes me as a good idea.

Dave Barry

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.

Dave Barry

The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.

Dave Barry

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.

Dave Barry

Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.

Dave Barry

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Dave Barry

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Dave Barry

People don't like it when you make fun of a celebrity. When you make fun of a celebrity, you'll hear from really loyal fans of that celebrity.

David Suchet

My fun as an actor and my task as an actor is to transform myself to become other people. I enjoy becoming characters but I don't enjoy becoming caricatures. The research I do is only necessary in so far as we move into other dimensions.

David Suzuki

The environment is so fundamental to our continued existence that it must transcend politics and become a central value of all members of society.

David R. Ellis

Waterworld was the best time of my life. It was physically demanding, but it was fun. I mean, you're in Hawaii for nine months shooting on the water every day.

David Prowse

I'm also involved in the rights of the disabled and do some fundraising for that and I thought it would have been a big boost for the campaign but it couldn't be worked out.

David Rakoff

I am no fun at all. In fact, I am anti-fun. Not as in anti-violence, but as in anti-matter. I am not so much against fun - although I suppose I kind of am - as I am the opposite of fun. I suck the fun out of a room. Or perhaps I'm just a different kind of fun; the kind that leaves on bereft of hope; the kind of fun that ends in tears.

David Morse

I have so many people who still talk to me about The Long Kiss Goodnight, about that being one of their favorite movies, and it really was a fun movie.

Carl Sagan

You can get into a habit of thought in which you enjoy making fun of all those other people who don't see things as clearly as you do. We have to guard carefully against it.

Carl Sagan

But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.

Cab Calloway

Everybody did something. It was very entertaining. We had a lot of fun. Lot of fun. And there was no segregation, that I could see. I never saw any

Buddy Hackett

Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place, but not much.

Buddy Hackett

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Bryan Callen

I guess I am attracted to older women. I'm looking for a 40-something who has had her heart broken two or three hundred times. She's going to be fun!

Friends are what God gives you to make up for your family.

Bryan Singer

I don't particularly like to go see 3D movies, but when I'm doing it I kind of do enjoy it. I enjoy seeing the image in 3D, there's a childhood fun about being able to see those dimensions.

Bryan White

Christmas makes me happy no matter what time of year it comes around.

Cesar Romero

But by the time I was 40, everything was winding down. It started after the war. On the plus side, there was more more products and technology. But for me the nightlife was winding down, the glamour, the fun.