Famous Quotes & Sayings

Larry David

People have often wondered how they'd feel if they were adopted. I think it's funny.

Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words mank and ind. What do these words mean? It's a mystery and that's why so is mankind.

Susan Stroman

Mel has written 10 new songs, and they're very funny. It's a year and a half away from opening on Broadway.

Billy Corgan

The funny thing about me that most people never really understand is that, at heart, I'm really a jock.

Bill Shankly

A football team is like a piano. You need eight men to carry it and three who can play the damn thing.

Bill Engvall

He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like "there's a golf shot. That's a golf shot." Well of course it's a golf shot; I just hit a golf ball. You don't see Gretzky skating around going "there's a hockey shot, that's a hockey shot."

Bill Engvall

My son is 12 now, and is really getting into girls. A lot. But the thing about twelve year old boys is that they don't possess what I like to call that ... discretionary gene yet. We were walking home from the ballfield the other day and there was a woman walking towards us who was ... gifted. I saw them, and I saw him see them. But she was too close for me to go, "Dude, shut up." She hadn't walked two feet behind us and he goes "God dang, did you see the SIZE of those things?" And all I could say was "Yeah, I did!"

Bill Engvall

No parents. You have Uncle Jesse, forever in overalls. Then there's Bo and Duke. What do they do? I never saw them working for food or gas money. You can only kill so many possum.

Bill Engvall

I thought "RV" stood for "Recreational Vehicle." No! It stands for "Ruins Vacations."

Stan Heath

Steven has a humorous side to him that you wouldn't expect. I see more of it this season. Life is more normal for him in some ways. He's opening up slowly.

Joanna Lumley

That's the staggering, humorous thing about money. If you haven't got taste, money doesn't matter: You'll always look ghastly.

Greg Evans

Laugh at yourself once in a while; give yourself a break.

Justin Turner

Jamaal is real a humorous and entertaining guy.

John Cornyn

I think you'll probably see not only his erudition, but his sense of humor.

Charles Kingsley

If "ifs" and "ands" were pots and pans, there'd be no work for tinkers' hands

C. S. Lewis

There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it.

Alan Coren

I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.

Al Capone

I don't even know what street Canada is on.

Kit Williams

Recreating the South Pointing Chariot is particularly challenging because none of the original technical drawings remain in existence.

Ali Abdullah Saleh

Regarding Syria, we already call for dialogue between Syria and all parties concerned, in order to avoid any kind of escalation in the region which may expose the whole area to chaos.

John Fahey

Regarding fame, fortune and Oregon I do wish I had more money.

Mary Morrison

Recent experience in Latin America illustrates that governments remain central to infrastructure provision. Not only is public funding sometimes indispensable, but the state has an essential role to play in partnering and overseeing private operators and protecting consumers.

Norman Schwarzkopf

... Recalling back to Operation Desert Storm, I can't help asking myself: Wouldn't it be great for our armed forces and for America if we could have another commander-in-chief named George Bush with Dick Cheney on his team?

Ronald Reagan

Recession is when a neighbour loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours.

Jonathan Gilbert

Reinventing the wheel is sometimes the right thing, when the result is the radial tire.

George Miller

President Bush should immediately realize the colossal mistake he has made in signing this order and rescind it and ensure that America puts its people back to work in the wake of Katrina at wages that will get them and their families back on their feet.

Carl Pope

President Bush nominated someone who has consistently opposed protecting public health and public lands. American families deserve an interior secretary who actually values our natural heritage. America deserves someone who will promote safe energy policies that protect sensitive lands and wildlife habitat, instead of giving over our public lands to developers and the oil and gas companies.