Famous Quotes & Sayings

Josh Billings

Genius ain't nothing more than elegant common sense.

Rachel Dratch

So, then, after college I did a children's theater tour for six months, but then I came out here. Just to try to do the whole Second City thing.

Jay London

Do you know it was a year a ago today?

Todd Barry

I've never been a TV junkie. I remember watching Letterman way back when he had a morning show.

Julia Sweeney

I used to think no one should go into show biz, but now I feel differently. I now feel like it's a great career. If you can do it and make money at it and still not be so famous that you can have a normal life - then I think it's a great career.

Jay London

I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be', they told me it wasn't enough.

Todd Barry

Some venues are better run than others. Sometimes it's just maddening to deal with full dinners being served in front of your face. You can have a good or bad show anywhere.

Bruce Vilanch

Sometimes there are people you can't make jokes about because the situation is embarrassing, especially if they're going to be there. It's just cruel.

Jonathan Katz

The sterile, arid environment created by truly jarring and discordant signage and gargantuan billboards is a turnoff.

E. B. White

A writer is like a bean plant, he has his little day, and then he gets stringy.

Keenen Ivory Wayans

The worst thing that can happen is you shoot something six months before you release it because a whole lot can happen in six months.

Chevy Chase

The worst thing about Saturday Night Live now is that, in the last 10 to 15 years, they've grown to some 40 writers. We had seven. And seven actors.

Rachel Dratch

The Yale group was doing the Harold. So by our senior year we were trying to do the Harold. Again, we had no idea what we were doing. We had one guy in the group who was pretty experimental; he would kind of push us to do weird things. It was really fun, a great experience.

Bruce Vilanch

I've never had to write a spec script.

Todd Barry

I've never read Ulysses. Why do you ask?

Chevy Chase

You may have read that I went to M.I.T. In 1982 I filled out a Who's Who survey with joking responses, and they never bothered to check the facts.

Mike Epps

With Ice Cube they ain't no telling. He might have one cocked and loaded, ready to bust. We might do The Sunday, two old men sitting around the house waiting on the social security check.

Jimmy Fallon

We tried to stay as far away from the players as I could. I mean, I don't play for the Red Sox. I didn't want to disrupt any of their joy.

Amy Poehler

There's a couple of enemies to improv, and one of them is editing; when you edit on TV it makes it seem like it's not really improv.

Al Franken

There's no liberal echo chamber in this country. There's a right-wing echo chamber. I want to create a countervailing echo chamber.

Tim Robbins

I started getting on my feet and clowning around, and they ended up putting me in a play when I was 12. And I was hooked.

W. C. Fields

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

George Carlin

In comic strips, the person on the right always speaks first.

Al Franken

I'm neutral in this race but I'm for freedom of speech, which means people should be able to assemble and speak without being shouted down.

Keenen Ivory Wayans

It's really hard to take this stuff seriously. A lot of it is sexual, but it's not offered up that way. It's just body parts, gross kind of stuff.

Sarah Silverman

The nightmare stories are all true, but it was good. Made me so strong after that year of getting my confidence beaten out of me.

Dana Carvey

You trying putting Bob Hope in a modern corporate movie now and get him up at 4:00 a.m. and get him on the set for 20 hours a day.

Rachel Dratch

Everybody always asks about Jimmy Fallon. I'm sorry to say that he's very nice and there's not much bad to say about him. I don't know if he sucks at videogames or not. I don't think he plays them, but he could have this whole secret life I don't know about.

Chevy Chase

I took a professional gamble leaving Hollywood, knowing I would be out of the loop. I'm not part of the movie world in-crowd right now.

Mike Epps

I'm engaged, on the way to being married.

Martin Lawrence

I know you think I'm crazy. I go into a different room and I actually felt like it takes me to a better place, positive instead of negative.

Gilbert Gottfried

I host these bad movies late at night.

Wanda Sykes

I'm a big Cosby fan. I respect the man.