Famous Quotes & Sayings

Paul Reubens

Look at me, I'm getting defensive about something that happened so many years ago, somebody said. I'll have to find out who that was and if he's still alive.

E. B. White

A writer is like a bean plant, he has his little day, and then he gets stringy.

Chevy Chase

You may have read that I went to M.I.T. In 1982 I filled out a Who's Who survey with joking responses, and they never bothered to check the facts.

Rachel Dratch

The Yale group was doing the Harold. So by our senior year we were trying to do the Harold. Again, we had no idea what we were doing. We had one guy in the group who was pretty experimental; he would kind of push us to do weird things. It was really fun, a great experience.

Bruce Vilanch

I've never had to write a spec script.

Todd Barry

I've never read Ulysses. Why do you ask?

Tim Robbins

I started getting on my feet and clowning around, and they ended up putting me in a play when I was 12. And I was hooked.

Keenen Ivory Wayans

The worst thing that can happen is you shoot something six months before you release it because a whole lot can happen in six months.

Chevy Chase

The worst thing about Saturday Night Live now is that, in the last 10 to 15 years, they've grown to some 40 writers. We had seven. And seven actors.

Todd Barry

In New York, if you wanted to be a comic you had to bring people to try to get on an open mic, but you could get on a regular show in Florida.

Lea DeLaria

I tend to like very bitchy women. I find myself most attracted to smart, sarcastic, bitchy women.

Bob Hope

I have to much money invested in sweaters.

Laura Kightlinger

I really detest movies like Indecent Proposal and Pretty Woman because they send a message to women that sleeping with a rich man is the ultimate goal and really that's such a small part of it.

Lucille Ball

If you want something done, ask a busy person to do it.

Andy Richter

Because homecoming came first, and there was the homecoming court. The five guys on homecoming court were disqualified from being in the prom court. So being prom king was being sixth most popular.

E. B. White

Genius is more often found in a cracked pot than a whole one.

Josh Billings

Genius ain't nothing more than elegant common sense.

Flip Wilson

Before you can hit the jackpot, you have to put a coin in the machine.

Wanda Sykes

I don't know if it's a woman's tone of voice or training. Maybe guys are like, When I go home, I have to hear it. Right now I'm at work.

Sarah Silverman

The nightmare stories are all true, but it was good. Made me so strong after that year of getting my confidence beaten out of me.

Dana Carvey

You trying putting Bob Hope in a modern corporate movie now and get him up at 4:00 a.m. and get him on the set for 20 hours a day.

Rachel Dratch

Everybody always asks about Jimmy Fallon. I'm sorry to say that he's very nice and there's not much bad to say about him. I don't know if he sucks at videogames or not. I don't think he plays them, but he could have this whole secret life I don't know about.

Everybody needs feedback, and it's a heck of a lot cheaper than paying a trainer.

Dick Smothers

It works much like a marriage, an old marriage. You've got to work on it.

I've got all the money I'll ever need if I die by four o'clock this afternoon.

I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o clock.

Debra Wilson

I've got my own future and my own life and it's positive and I feel blessed, so I'm going to do what I need to that's in my best interests.

Steven Wright

It's a small world but I wouldn't want to paint it.

Paul Reiser

It was funny to write for Peter Falk.

Keenen Ivory Wayans

It's really hard to take this stuff seriously. A lot of it is sexual, but it's not offered up that way. It's just body parts, gross kind of stuff.

Red Skelton

I personally believe we were put her to build and not to destroy.

Red Skelton

I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose - to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.

Bob Hope

If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.