Famous Quotes & Sayings

Kathy Griffin

The fact that that really is my life, and that my husband Matt - who you see on the show - is like the most normal guy in the world.

Harpo Marx

In the fall of 1943 we brought home our second son, whom we named Alexander.

Harpo Marx

I was the same kind of father as I was a harpist - I played by ear.

Josh Billings

Knowledge is like money: the more one gets, the more one craves.

I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back.

Ben Stiller

Having a child changes everything in a most positive way, and I am extremely lucky to have a great wife who is also an incredible mom.

Paul Reiser

Guys need a little help in knowing how to care for a kid. It's not that I think: Gee, parenting is beneath me. It's just that I wouldn't think of it.

The people want to share in something more than the material rewards of life, and to talk in terms of increasing the national product is not enough.

We must decide how the population should be distributed, and what industries we want in the north of Australia, in the west and elsewhere.

Paul Reiser

We made this movie for $17, and nobody got anything. So it never dawned on me that we would get real people.

Groucho Marx

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend on reading it.

If you are doing well, it is an incredible lifestyle.

Tim Robbins

I wouldn't even get elected. I'd probably deck a couple of people, too which would not play very well with the national media.

Emo Philips

I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks.

Joey Adams

People are still willing to do an honest day's work. The trouble is they want a week's pay for it.

Joe E. Lewis

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty, not dirty.

Chris Farley

Everyone is treating it like a Hollywood story. In Madison, it's a neighborhood story.

Bruce Vilanch

It's really live television, the way God meant it to be.

Groucho Marx

There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.

Joe Rogan

People want their 15 minutes and are willing to do anything to get it.

Jimmy Durante

Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.

Jay London

I saw a sign it said left lane closed so I went someplace else.

Ben Stiller

Finding a woman to share your life is not an easy thing in the first place, and then to find yourself happy is even more pleasantly surprising.

Shelley Berman

But, let's face it, I'm a Chicago boy.

Bill Cosby

The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet.

Kathy Griffin

There are lots of little mom and pop furniture stores in L.A., which is perfect for me because I like to mix the old with the new.

Rita Rudner

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Rob Corddry

I don't feel like I even need to contribute.

Thomas Aquinas

Law is nothing other than a certain ordinance of reason for the common good, promulgated by the person who has the care of the community.

Johnny Carson

If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

Randy Newman

When people start knocking those bands, those bands that sing all that harmony, it's hard, I can't do it. Course, there's only one of me.

Tim Robbins

There is absolutely no way that I would enter that world. I would never run for office.

Pakistan has made no mention of ending our tests. We have a missile program, and it is in the national interest whatever we want to do.