Famous Quotes & Sayings

Shelley Berman

Outside came in '60. The Edge in '61. All three made Gold, but the biggest seller was Inside.

Shelley Berman

So that this thing that aired in 1963 would result a few years later in personal bankruptcy, would result in having people be on edge with me, wondering when I'm going to blow up.

Lou Costello

A husband is what's left of a sweetheart after the nerve has been killed.

With Guard and Reserve units, you can end up with a lot of people from one part of the country dying in one day, and that gets people's attention.

Ben Stiller

We did the movie because we liked the script; everybody wanted to do the movie just to have fun, and that was the most rewarding part of the process.

We are deeply conscious of the fact that our north and west must be developed.

The people of Australia would be staggered to learn that Australia has no national development plan.

It is a great privilege for any man to become a member of the Senate.

The Australian people want to help build this country into a great nation. This budget... has not realized the capacity of the Australian people. It has underestimated them. It has let us down.

We must have as clear a picture as we can of the Australia that we want to achieve at the end of that time.

Where there is a will there is a way. And this must be the way not of compulsion but of cooperation... No government and no plan can succeed without it.

Victoria Jackson

It was the best job I ever had. I just left because my whole team was leaving and the new guys were coming.

Henny Youngman

You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.

Josh Billings

The trouble with people is not that they don't know but that they know so much that ain't so.

Phyllis Diller

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.

Phyllis Diller

You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.

Paula Poundstone

Adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because they are looking for ideas.

Tim Meadows

Out of 30 years of Second City I was probably the third African-American with the main stage cast. I was surprised when I first heard that. I think part of the reason that improvisation has never been popular with African-Americans is that it isn't popular in the inner cities.

Groucho Marx

Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.

Groucho Marx

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

After all, we paid great prices because of the virtual partitioning of Iraq.

There was expectations that the fights there, the operation there might be extended for several months, even for several years. But within a few weeks it ended, because obviously the Taliban wasn't a real force.

Well, that our main concern is that Iraq should not become a divided country.

So we are fulfilling our task in preventing serious armament stocks in Iraq within our possibilities.

No, I believe in the good will of the United States' administration.

W. C. Fields

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

W. C. Fields

Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.

Kate Clinton

We signed up for Showtime, which I think put us on a Homeland Security list somewhere.

Kate Clinton

They didn't even like Margaret Thatcher but at least there was Margaret Thatcher. There have been women, you know, Sonia Gandhi for heaven's sakes in India.

Kate Clinton

I try something new every night. It's an hour show; if it works I maybe try it a few more times and then move that off and try something new. It's a great workshop for me.

Mike Epps

They have what you call a black night where they have black people come in for just one night only to watch comedy, and you get all your local drug dealers, thugs, prostitutes, all of them come in, sit down, and listen to you tell jokes. They the hardest people to make laugh.

Mike Epps

I'm telling a Richard Pryor story through me.

Mike Epps

I've been with this young lady for about two years now, and my life changed. I don't even think that way no more. I feel good, too, that I'm changed. Now I feel regular. I feel like I'm supposed to.