Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
funny humor employee
How come you don't ever hear about gruntled employees? And who has been dis-ing them anyhow?
yesterday car missing
Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing...
degrees study calcium
I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology... the study of milkmen.
ems true-lies
Women... can't live with 'em...... can't shoot 'em
dog people ledges
The other day, I was walking my dog around my building . . . on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
dog new-york florida
I took my dog for a walk... all the way from New York to Florida... I said to him "There now you're done."
children two keys
I collect rare photographs... I have two... One of Houdini locking his keys in his car... the other is a rare picture of Norman Rockwell beating up a child.
funny gardening ants
I bought an ant farm. I don't know where I am going to get a tractor that small!
funny humor pigs
Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
funny humor lethal-injection
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
song thinking listening
I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, "I think I might have written that."
insightful kind hindsight
In hindsight, I realized I could see into the future. Which is kind of like having premonitions of flashbacks.
funny humor psychics
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
voice dull said
I'm so hyper. (said with a very dull voice>