Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
money fees fund
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
funny children humor
I was an only child, eventually.
funny humor house
In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above... so I never have to go upstairs.
money party italian
A fool and his money are soon partying.
fall brain mind
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
air guy triangles
There's a pizza place near where I live that sells only slices. In the back, you can see a guy tossing a triangle in the air.
girlfriend writing white
My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them.
funny wall real
Doing a little work around the house. I put fake brick wallpaper over a real brick wall, just so I'd be the only one who knew. People come over and I'm gonna say, "Go ahead, touch it... it feels real."
justice house window
I was born by Caesarian section . . . but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window.
bread hardness softness
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
believe yeah dont-believe
Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read.
people tree shadow
The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.
funny-motivational math people
Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
funny humor preparation
Whatever happened to preparations A through G?