Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
moving tired stills
Day One: Still tired from the move.
years eight birth
My friend Winnie is a procrastinator. He didn't get his birth mark til he was eight years old.
moving next-week mars
I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...
snakes
Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
honor mind parks
Your honor, why would anyone in their right mind park in the passing lane?
moving tired idiot
Day 1 -- Still tired from the move. Day 2 -- Everybody talks to me like I'm an idiot.
funny humor light
I saw a want ad. "light housekeeping." They said "Here, change this bulb." I said "I'll need some friends."
drug may scenic
Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.
time watches spares
I Xeroxed my watch. Now I have time to spare.
sarcastic hurt feels
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
funny humor buttons
I lost a button hole.
art department interiors
Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
birth certificates birth-certificate
I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate had an expiration date on it.
inspirational ice swim
If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet?